{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Pregnant, just got a new job offer. I need to drop the pregnancy bomb now (I’m 24 weeks along). Really looking for any advice on how to say this in negotiations. I really want to see if I can negotiate our maternity leave. Also want to break the news in a way where they don’t feel deceived.", "post_id": "60d5caedb200a40020551ad6", "reply_count": 11, "vote_count": 7, "bowl_id": "5976222cab932800101a9ca4", "bowl_name": "Women in Advertising" }

Pregnant, just got a new job offer. I need to drop the pregnancy bomb now (I’m 24 weeks along). Really looking for any advice on how to say this in negotiations. I really want to see if I can negotiate our maternity leave. Also want to break the news in a way where they don’t feel deceived.

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This is a tricky one. 1- never feel you are deceiving anyone by not disclosing personal information about a pregnancy or medical condition. Right to privacy is a real thing, and as women we’ve been conditioned to think of pregnancy and child rearing demands as a thing to hide. 2- Depending on your seniority, role, and their holding company status, they may or may not be able to give you the PFL. 3- Most places will say that they can give you the time off, but it won’t be paid. 4- I would urge you to wait it out at your current role, especially if you’re established and have the PFL there. WPP is a giant holding company, so you will have the earned time off and be paid. You can give notice when you come back after 12-16 weeks. 5- Feeling pressure to return to work after a baby is bullshit. Enjoy the time. You will be exhausted and overwhelmed. If you’re new on the job and then take the time, you will feel a pressure or anxiety about not being there. It’s not worth it in my opinion. 6- I’ve negotiated with many pregnant women and I always think about their experience and my own journey as a woman with kids primarily. Make sure the recruiter or person you’re negotiating with is someone you trust. DM me if you’d like to chat offline.

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I DMed you! Thanks

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First, congrats on the baby and the offer! Second, there *are* companies that will offer full leave benefits without a service requirement. I’m hopeful this is a move even more companies will make in the near future. I would remove the idea of “deceiving” them from your mind and remember that this is a business transaction. “Thank you for the offer, I’m really excited about the opportunity to work at X. As I’m making my decision, can you share more information about the benefits?” And if their literature doesn’t make it clear, I would ask point-blank about a service requirement for parental leave eligibility. You will then know very quickly how parent-positive the workplace is. Personally, I’d be wary about accepting a job that asks you to take unpaid leave and how parent-friendly they will be in your subsequent years of employment. Especially knowing our current company is very generous in paid leave. Good luck!

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I was in this situation. I waited until I received an offer letter, then said I was planning to have a baby in the very near term and wanted to be sure that - as a new employee - if I were to have a baby in the first 12 months of employment that I would receive the exact same parental leave package that a long term employee would receive. They immediately agreed and I made sure that I had it in writing over email.

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This is so brave! Is that how you worded it, nice and assertive? I’m in the same position as the OP although at 16 weeks. Did you worry they might withdraw the offer?

I was five months pregnant when I was interviewing for a new job. I didn’t hide it but I didn’t flaunt it either. When negotiations got to a point where it was clear they were going to offer me the job, I said “Just in case it wasn’t obvious to you, I’m five months pregnant. While I would need some time off up front to care for my baby, my plan is to stay here a long time and I’m excited to do some great work with this team.” They said “oh wow I didn’t realize.” I still got the job. I would just be upfront with them. If you don’t tell them at this point, it will feel deceptive to them. If you tell them and you don’t get the job because of it, it’s telling and you don’t want to work for them anyway.

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I was in this exact scenario. All the advice on this thread is great. My approach was to disclose that you want to start a family, and build in a fair parental leave policy for yourself, as one never knows when one will be pregnant. They don’t need to know you’re pregnant. But, you need to know you’ll be treated fairly and not have to do the whole one-year-of-of-service to get fully paid parental leave, that is also a reasonable amount of time off, plus a guarantee that insurance would cover the birth. I was unable to successfully negotiate that, so stayed at my current job. However, if the potential pay increase is going to be life changing, that real. Good luck!

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I disagree that you shouldn’t change jobs bc you’re pregnant. If you can swing the unpaid leave or get some manner of pay for it and you want the new job- take it!

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I think you absolutely should disclose this as part of your offer negotiations. Not because your family planning is any of their business, but because even if you are eligible for their full leave benefits, you will potentially be taking extended time off less than three months into the job… which is something you should give them a chance to plan for. If it’s a decent company with sane management they will take that in stride in the interest of having you there for the long term.

helpful

Just to add: I think even if it doesn’t come off as deceptive, not mentioning it comes across as not being forward-thinking or mindful of how your absence will affect the work and your colleagues. Which is maybe an even worse impression to give. As a general rule of thumb, I’d say if you’re past the point where you would have “announced” at a current job, you should mention it while negotiating a new job. If you’re like… 6 weeks along, fine to keep it to yourself for a while just as you probably would in any circumstance.

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Hey OP where did you get with this? Hope it all went well. Do share if you can!

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