Pregnant with my second. I keep getting asked if I’m returning after mat leave. The answer is 99% no, but having trouble saying “absolutely yes” with a straight face. My answer has been closer to “maybe under the right conditions”.

Would you be more or less honest??

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Don’t ever let them know what you’re thinking. Smile and say “ I returned after my first…”

likesmart

🤮

It’s interesting that they ask at your level - most of the time I assume that partners are primary earner and wouldn’t be able to afford to stay at home - or just wouldn’t want to! I’d LOVE the option; good for you.

Just say “that’s the plan.” Plans can change. They don’t need to know any further.

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I don‘t think you should be asked this question and if asked nonetheless, you have no obligation to be honest. So I would keep my options open and say yes, I will return. And also manage things such you can return (i.e. have colleagues cover for you while you are out, with a clear plan to for them to step back once you return, not handing over client relationships for good etc.)

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I think it’s inappropriate for people to be asking. Maybe say something like, “Thanks for asking, one step at a time. I’m focusing my thinking now on how to get a second cantaloupe-sized head out of a fig sized opening.” See how many people ask you after that.

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I think your answer “maybe under the right circumstances” is quite revealing, 😘 but I’m not sure there’s anything wrong with being as authentic as you want to be. You could try saying “Are you kidding me, If I don’t come back, I won’t get a break!” Which is not a commitment either way. I’m trying to think of I’ve ever asked that question - it feels a little inappropriate for people to ask casually...

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Why is there a 1% chance you will? If you are on the fence (even if just slightly), keep the door open.

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Agree this is inappropriate to ask. That said, when I was pregnant, the principal I work with did ask but only because we have a very close working relationship. He also said I don’t have to decide now or tell him if I don’t want to.

Thanks for all the advice here! I have done a bit of back tracking in terms of me re-affirming commitment to the firm. I think it was the right answer as I could see the tone changing in some of my conversations with my leadership.

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