{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Prob not the right place to ask but don’t feel comfortable asking publicly through other means -anyone have experience getting a drug addicted sibling to rehab? Male in his 30s, no job, no credit, bounces between living at home/being out on the streets, lengthy arrest record. How do we bring him back to being a functional person? Is it possible? Our parents have given up on him and he is extremely hostile anytime we bring it up.", "post_id": "601af7849a9e950020a653cd", "reply_count": 10, "vote_count": 7, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }

Prob not the right place to ask but don’t feel comfortable asking publicly through other means -anyone have experience getting a drug addicted sibling to rehab? Male in his 30s, no job, no credit, bounces between living at home/being out on the streets, lengthy arrest record. How do we bring him back to being a functional person? Is it possible? Our parents have given up on him and he is extremely hostile anytime we bring it up.

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I tried unsuccessfully with my former husband. Unemployed alcoholic hostile to the idea of rehab and to accepting that he was an alcoholic who needed help. I first tried getting him to see a psychiatrist and therapist, as he was clearly drinking in part because of some terrible things which had happened to him in the past and which he never truly processed. He was willing and did go to one or two appointments but then became hostile when the psychiatrist told him he also needed to stop smoking pot. Ultimately he was kicked out because he became so verbally irate. He never accepted that he needed to change anything in his life, and I had to divorce him. That was ten years ago. He is still an alcoholic and I believe is using now as well. He’s in and out of jail. I think ultimately you can’t help anyone who doesn’t want to help themselves. If they don’t think they have a problem, they’re never going to stick to a program and get clean. You might get them in the door of a rehab center, but they’re not going to stay and stick it out. If your brother doesn’t admit to having a problem, there isn’t anything you can do for him. I know you love him and want a better life for him, but you can’t save him. In order to protect your own heart you may need to put some distance between you. You can tell him that you’ll always love him and will be there for him if he ever decides to get help but that you won’t stand by and watch him destroy himself. I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but he has to want to change. Otherwise you’re wasting your time and money and causing yourself unnecessary stress and pain.

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Accenture 1 it gets better. It’s hard to deal with the loss of what might have been, but in the end you have to do what’s right for you. He was on a sinking ship. If I kept trying to bail him out while he just sat and watched I would have gone under with him. I feel sad for him and hope that someday he’ll get help, but at least I’m no longer drowning.

uplifting

So sorry that you're going through this. I have a family of alcoholics and while it's not the same as what you're going through right now some of the semantics are the same -- they need to acknowledge that they have a problem. It wasn't until we had an intervention and we basically showed them the impact that their behavior was having on us. In this case, we had the intervention and then we told the person that they were getting on a plane and going to Georgia to an inpatient facility for 3 months. Afterwards, they had to continue their work and go to therapy and get the help that they need.

They have to want to get better. Good luck!

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Look at Al Anon to help you! As everyone said, you can’t change the addicts behavior, which is hard to admit. He needs to want to change before treatment will be effective.

Toughlove is the hardest love to give. You can’t make anyone do anything that you want, they have to do it for themselves. And I know hearing it from me makes you say “ I already know this” but the truth is if you’re still asking how to help them then maybe you truly don’t understand. I know that you love them, I love my sister, who is a heroin addict and has ruined every relationship and our family. But the bottom line is they have to decide when they want to get better. And sometimes we realized by helping my sister over and over again, giving her money, taking her in, we were actually robbing her from her rock-bottom. Until they get there and decide to make a change for themselves, nothing you will do will help them. All sad but all true all I can offer is my Best wishes

Good luck. It’s hard. My brother has seen longer jail sentences each time and it’s the only time when he’s clean. He is productive and living well when he gets out but something always pulls him back in. He doesn’t live nearby so I can’t help but it’s his own path. It’s actually chilling to read your message because it’s my story almost exactly. I worry mostly about my mother who doesn’t deserve any of it either. So sad.

FYI anyone I speak to says the Rehabs aren’t worth it. They rarely help and people bounce back in all the time. It’s a money suck and an awful situation either way. He needs to want to change and see the impact his life is having on others before any meaningful change occurs. I hope, at least.

Good luck with everything.

Good luck OP

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