Probably a very unusual post but I'm looking for some advice. My mom is super conservative and recently found out that I got an IUD. She's been ignoring me and I'm tired of her being petty.

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Information diet- perhaps limit the things you tell her in the future. Otherwise, just give her time. could also help to inform her of current IUDs. I know my mom freaked a bit because she had a 70s memory of them which were deadly!

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Definitely know that now! I wanted to stay on my mom's plan for a while because her plan offered really good benefits. Other than that, I cover all my own finances.

I have a very conservative mom (I’m Indian) and she doesn’t know I have an IUD. Idk if it matters to be honest or not, or you want to hash this out. I know with my mom - she just won’t understand some things, this being one of them. So if she were to find out, I would freak out and then let her know it’s because I get bad cramps and it helps with them.

If I thought she was open and understanding to what I have to say - let her know I’m an adult and I’m sexually active and after talking to my doctor this seemed to be the best route for contraceptives.

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I’m the conservative mom 😂 it was hard when my daughter informed that she’s going to live with her BF, have no idea when she got the IUD !!! So many things are / were new and confusing to me, This is just one of them, so I just had to process my own feelings with the help of my husband and just wish them the best.... they are married now and still don’t agree on many small things ( like cooking, keeping the house clean, ..., ) but I consciously don’t tell anything cos that’s the decision they are making as an adult...I chalk it up to changing times, go with the flow and focus on enjoying my life... Just give them time and space, remember only when one cares there will give advice and any advice comes from the right place, might or might not be applicable this day and age, Good luck.

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Sounds like you're a great mother! Hoping mine will come to terms with this as well haha

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To provide a different view, i would encourage you to consider that maybe her wanting you to abstain from sex before marriage might be healthy

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Lol I'll keep that in mind thanks

When my mom found out I was on birth control she got very upset bc she is as well, so I just pretended I stopped going on and told her that / that I was sorry. She found it a few years later and was still kind upset but she’s loosened up considerably now thankfully so it wasn’t as big of a deal the next time around ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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I'm not sure she's upset about the IUD exactly, it seems to be more of an issue that she's disappointed that I'm not saving myself for marriage, as she's urged me to my entire life. My mom isn't the type to talk about this kind of stuff so I told her I wanted an IUD to better control my period and reduce cramps, which isn't a lie anyway. I understand where she's coming from because that's how she was raised but I just don't agree.

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Nothing, you’re an adult woman and it’s your human right to not feel guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed. I’ve held my ground with my mom and told her we can talk once she acknowledges and respects me as an adult.

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I am super close to my mom. She is my confidante but I will not not not tell her I am on pills. Why? Coz I like mental peace for both - her and me.
Don’t process this reaction as ‘petty’. She is your mom and maybe she is just overly protective to believe her daughter is sexually active. Never easy for a parent so they like to be in denial. Anything otherwise is difficult for them to digest. Ignore for now and give her time to deal with it herself. And for mental peace, ensure you change your insurance plan so that she doesn’t have to read this info again. Also, cover up that the plan change is due to better plan from office or something. Don’t let her get hurt nor her to feel you are hiding.
Cheers

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Didn't know that but that's great, thanks so much!!

Don’t share everything with your mom. She doesn’t need to know every detail about your life and choices

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I didn't, I mentioned earlier that she found out by mistake 🙃

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Yeah there are somethings I don’t bother telling my mom. I’m not at all ashamed of my sexuality and wanting to have safe healthy sex. She can’t handle that truth and I like my peace, so we don’t talk about that kind of stuff. I wish we could. At most, I’d chat about modern contraceptives or what dating looks like today so she is more informed generally, but I don’t always trust her to not guilt me so we don’t get personal on the topic.

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Look, it’s your life. At least you’re trying not bring her an out of wedlock grandchild. Whatevvver. She’ll get over it.

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I started on BC due to my hormones being out of whack... but also because it was time for me to start (long term bf). My mom was a part of that, as we are trying to find out whether or not I have PCOS. However, she was super weird about “not giving permission” [to have sex] when I did start the pill. I had to stop it to get my blood tests run and I brought up how I can’t wait to restart it once my endo gives me the green light because my skin is worse than it was on the pill, hair growth is worse, etc... she didn’t like that much ether.

Basically I get it. And I’m also not super sure how to navigate the conversation besides emphasizing how much better my symptoms were when I was on the BC.

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I live across the country with my bf and am just so confused by her reaction. Has anyone been through anything similar? What should I do?

Why is she upset exactly about the IUD? Would she be just as upset with the pill? If not, maybe educate her on the IUD and the current usage stats?

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