{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Project is asking me to travel the week my wife is due to have a baby or else get an exemption from HR. Is this normal or is my firm just not supportive? KPMG if anyone is looking to join.", "post_id": "5df9609c20e83c001ac13eb6", "reply_count": 161, "vote_count": 86, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting" }

Project is asking me to travel the week my wife is due to have a baby or else get an exemption from HR. Is this normal or is my firm just not supportive? KPMG if anyone is looking to join.

likefunnyhelpfuluplifting
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Why do you think the project team feels that your travel is necessary? What alternatives are you able to present to them? If you want (and deserve) the travel, the ideal way is to give them the options that would solve their problems created by your absence, in person. Based on what you've provided, I sympathize with you but I don't think we have a good enough picture to be bashing the project team.

likefunny

I think as K1 it's my duty to say

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What if you were the one carrying the baby? Deliver in an airport? What if the parent delivering the baby dies in child birth (adoption)? It does happen - statistically quite a lot... you made it this far in life, even if you get fired, your a parent now... you will make it work. That is what moms and dads do. In case anyone has not said it yet - congrats on starting the best part of your life - ever! This will be the first of many decisions where you will side with a life that you made, that you are responsible for protecting. And whatever decision you make today, tomorrow, or 10 years from now will be the right one because that is your kid. Go with your gut and be the person you are in your heart - and make those other m-duckers jealous of your “temerity.” I vote for my kids everyday, not just the first birthday. Sometimes, I do choose work because that provides for them to have food, air, shelter.... other times I pick the kids. And sometimes I pick me! And all of those choices make me a great parent, person, consultant, and manager. It does (intangibly) save the bottom line, of our firm, and our society. You are going to be the best parent ever. Congrats!

likeuplifting
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You shouldn't take the risk to travel +-2 weeks of your wife delivery date. If needed involve HR. You don't want to miss the birth of your baby because of Corporate America!

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This. Your wife and future child are 1000x more important than any consulting firm. Escalate to HR, or principal/partner and put your foot down. Sorry you have to go through this madness. It is complete bullshit.

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Sound like you’ll accidentally miss your flight that week

likefunnysmart

Blame it on United

likefunny

Seems to me your firm bites

likesmart

No way in hell I would travel. I would also remind them of the due date incase your manager or the client forgot.

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Uh, yeah your firm is not being supportive.

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Not normal. I stopped traveling 2 weeks before the baby was due and the baby was early. So assuming you communicated months in advance the due date and your plans for paternity leave, speak to your leadership and understand why they need you onsite. Just curious- what’s the paternity leave policy at your firm?

likehelpful

To be clear, this is not a KPMG thing. This is an as****e Engagement Manager or Partner (which again, I can’t imagine) thing. I made one of my guys stay home an extra week last year in similar circumstances last year.

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What exemption? The project easily can say that you should stay home with your wife. Shabby

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No. Gigantic no unless your wife says to go. Even then it’s a no. Such a big no that you need to tell your partner the name of the person that is saying you have to travel so that person can be taught better. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just promoting work/work balance.

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SC4 life is greater than any workshop

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I am a Partner as well. This is not the firm. Has to be a misunderstanding or a very misguided Director. Stay home.

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Tell me the quotas you’ve seen.

I’m sorry but that wouldn’t even be up for debate for me. One thing I’ve learned in this business is people will continue to do what you allow them to do. So I strongly recommend setting that boundary with or without the HR exemption. They’re smart enough to work around your situation. You’ll never be able to get that moment back and you would surely regret missing it.

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drag their asses to HR and if HR does not support you then drag them to regional practice head and if this also does not work post this all over Linkedin, Twitter and FB tagging the firm and the people. And I am not joking. No firm wants bad publicity on WLB. 🤷🏻‍♀️

likesmart

Did you tell your bosses ahead of time? I had someone pull one of these two weeks before major deadlines.

likehelpfulfunny

OP just to clarify - your project/leadership/client were aware that there was a baby on the way, or that you had restrictions as a result? I've seen situations where people have help or don't need weeks in advance to be remote. I'm not in agreement with your firm, but at the same time, it is up to you to explicitly be clear what it is that you are informing and what you are asking for. If this causes conflict(s) - they should inform you - so that you can put together a plan for others to cover for you during this time (not to dismiss the conflict). Having said that, it's called being human and accommodating in situations like this ... as well those that are unforeseen. Even clients should understand (if they don't) that we also have a life outside of work. Despite the long hours we work and the deep commitment we have to helping them succeed, we all also have other priorities and they need to respect that.

likehelpful

I just told my project (several months in advance) Id be off the road at the 36 week mark. Magic words to HR (if you still need them) “high risk pregnancy.” Everyone and there mother steers clear of that land mind

likesmart

All deliveries are high risk, that’s why we do them in hospitals. Just because we manage the risks well does not mean that the don’t exist

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MD here. That's insane. Who is telling you to travel? Partner / MD? If not, talk to whoever that is, let them know what's going on, and that you need to be remote. If it IS the Partner / MD, then go to HR.

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KPMG ? What practice?

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Sounds like Partner / PM is an ass. Firm will speak thru HR. Let's see what they say so we can hate on them!

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That’s a big no from me dog

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Could your wife maybe hold off a week?

funnylike

I am w KPMG. This is not okay or normal. What level on the project is asking you?

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