{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Question for all the men out there. Or maybe a doctor lol..I (25F) recently started seeing someone (28M), attempted to...do the deed...twice last weekend, he couldn’t get hard both times. First night I thought he just had too much to drink, tried again in the morning, but he never really got hard and then ended up finishing before we got anywhere. He smokes a juul like crazy, which I heard can lead to troubles in that area. Maybe he doesn’t actually like me? Who know...anyone have thoughts?", "post_id": "607f1eb5085ea4002934083d", "reply_count": 15, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "5bbbefd16988b7001214b705", "bowl_name": "Unprofessional Topics 🙃", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Question for all the men out there. Or maybe a doctor lol..I (25F) recently started seeing someone (28M), attempted to...do the deed...twice last weekend, he couldn’t get hard both times. First night I thought he just had too much to drink, tried again in the morning, but he never really got hard and then ended up finishing before we got anywhere. He smokes a juul like crazy, which I heard can lead to troubles in that area. Maybe he doesn’t actually like me? Who know...anyone have thoughts?

uplifting
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As a guy there’s a host of reasons this can happen. Stage fright, residual effects from the alcohol, taking antidepressants, etc. Definitely no reason to assume it’s you. 99.9% of the time it’s the guy!

likehelpful

Not a guy but I highly doubt he doesn’t like you. He’s willing to try having sex with you twice, he must like you at least a tiny bit. My guess is he was nervous / anxious / combination of drinking / performance anxiety and couldn’t get in the head space. It happens.

likesmart

I'm not a professional or a guy, but my boyfriend had the same problem the first few weeks after we started dating. We learned that his body and mind were taking a while to get used to being intimate with a new person since he was with his previous girlfriend for a long time and hadn't slept with anyone else after that (which i thought is actually a sign of his loyalty). I just waited patiently and remembered to not accuse/ blame him. After maybe a month it was completely fine.

likehelpful

Probably alcohol or nerves or both

like

Serious question if you just “recently started seeing someone” why are you already doing the deed (or attempting to)?

like

And because of beliefs like that, we get a 70% divorce rate. Congratulations.

like

Nicotine can definitely lower sex drive, on top of that if you add excessive drinking, good luck getting him up... just tell him to stay sober and don’t touch the juul for one date night.

Also SSRIs ( Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft) can mess with it (personal experience). Other things have been raised as well. But it there can be ways around it

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