Question for any moms out there, did you have any issues with your career progression after having kids? Hubs and I are starting to seriously think about the future and I find myself anxious about what taking maternity (4-6months) might mean for things like promotions and over all career growth. I know it’s illegal to be fired for pregnancy. I want the family/kids thing but I’ve also worked really hard to get where I am and actually love my job so any advice/ tips would be welcome.

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Feel like I had the same feelings. It took time and changing my perspective.
Was up from promo and went out on maternity leave. I couldn’t relax until month 5 (out of 6). I was still thinking about work and I had a hard time moving into this new identity as a mom because I had been so focused on my career (I am not the person that feels my life started the minute I became a mom, I had a pretty sweet life before baby. I also get everyone is different).
Maybe it’s bc I was older (37) when I got pregnant, but it was a challenge bc my identity for so long was super focused on being the best at my job and being very career oriented.
I’m not sure when this all changed but for me my priorities are about my fam. I still battle with the whole career/job thing and don’t feel as driven as before bc I’m now super focused on caring for a baby. I did get promoted (some days wish I hadn’t bc it’s a lot of work lol), work isn’t my number 1 thing. Work life balance is def important and I feel like if I’m ever put in a position where I have to pick my family or job, I’ll 100% pick my family and not look back.

likehelpful

The cop out answer to this is “it depends”

Can you continue on the same consulting career progression after having children? Absolutely. Plenty of women do it.

But – and this is a major but - it is exhausting and requires a ton of help. You need rocksolid child care. You need help around the house. You need someone who can think about all the my minutia- When are the kids doctors appointments? Do they have clothes that fit? When is their school project due? If you have a partner who can truly carry that weight, amazing. If not, you need to outsource. And even if you have that support, it is exhausting. The sleep deprivation alone is brutal.

Don’t get me wrong. My two daughters bring me more joy and happiness than anything I’ve ever done in life. I wouldn’t change anything about my decision to have children, even for a minute.

I have a nanny, a housekeeper, a daycare, a preschool, and a husband who is extremely supportive. I think my career has been able to progress in many of the same ways it would have had I not had had children. So yes, it is doable. But I am very tired, and sometimes I wonder if my career is really worth it.

likehelpful

Even if it did delay you 1 year in your lifetime, would that be so terrible? It’s easy to focus on your next promotion and not the big picture.

likehelpful

No one even remembered I took maternity leave - I was promoted to SM right before I told work I was pregnant, so I only had 4 months of operating at the level before I went out…I came back right before the fiscal year ended and was still rated “performed above peers” and got a great merit increase/bonus.

People are now already talking to me about partner.

I took 6 months and regret not taking more. That’s how much of a non-issue it was.

likehelpful

If I am being really honest, I’m not *that* great.

People just like working with me; I don’t complain, I try to bring partners solutions vs. problems, and I maintain an upbeat attitude (perhaps a little less upbeat having my baby 😂).

All those things go a long way 😊.

likefunny

I wouldn’t worry about maternity leave. It’s incredible how little changes in 6 months. Picked right back up where I left off.

Now managing your career with littles at home is the challenging part and it’s hard to tell in advance how you will feel about it. I don’t want to be a stay at home mom but I also don’t want to outsource 99 percent of childcare (not my style) so you gotta make decisions accordingly.

likehelpfulsmart

I got a big promotion the year after having my twins. It was crazy busy. Finding good childcare is key to your life. We had a day nanny who was fabulous and that kept me sane. Also a very supportive husband who had his own business was and was able to be a bit flexible with his schedule.

helpfullikesmart

For me, taking 5 months didn’t matter at all for career progression especially in project based work. I got promoted on mat leave actually

What did happen is my priorities changed and I didn’t want to be a consultant anymore. The constant hours, ridiculous and inflexible timelines, and travel are not for me as a Mom. I like seeing my daughter most days. I like having dinner with my family. I like not traveling for work every week. So I left consulting. I make good money, work with super smart people, have career progression, and still have a life with my family

No hate on Moms who make consulting work, just wasn’t for me! But being pregnant and taking maternity leave was not an issue at all (probably firm dependent)

likehelpful

I made the choice to slow down after kids. They’re only little once, and I want to be around for that. I don’t make enough to outsource all the help needed. I feel like my firm supports women who decide to slow down amd women who want to stay on the fast track. The ultimate decision is whether you can afford and want all the outsourced help that is necessary to make it work (and is your spouse really going to be supportive).

likehelpful

I don’t take on high burn projects, which means I don’t always do interesting work, but it’s work I can control. I don’t do every proposal that comes my way, only those that have a high likelihood to win or are of interest to me. I only do reinvest work that is valued by the firm and of interest to me. I’m not perceived as a go getter but as someone who reliably gets her work done. So I don’t get as many hits at bat as those gunning for partner, which just means it’s going to take longer for me to get there (IF I want to get there).

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Most men never have to ask themselves this question.

Here is long term advice the notorious RBG, “Women will only have true equality when men share with them the responsibility of bringing up the next generation.”

If you and your husband are lucky enough to have kids (I hope it all works out for you!), remember to delegate! Women are pretty incredible and really can almost do it all… but we shouldn’t have to. Have an honest conversation about what you both need and how you can both support one another.

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We alternate weekend mornings too.

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I'll be honest, it has definitely slowed my career. There are some of my mentees that are now at the same level as I am. It hurts but the truth is my family is more important to me than the rat race. I took all my leave with each of my 3 kids. Some things have to give when you decide to have a career and a family. I had one more year at each level because I took leave and couldn't get promoted on a year I took leave. Although, with this last promotion, that didn't seem to matter because I took leave and hit promoted the same year. You have the rest if your life to work but a limited time to build a family. If you postpone having a family so your career moves quickly, you have to be prepared to potentially lose the option of children.

likehelpfulfunny

Speaking as someone who didn’t have kids (partially because of my commitment to work, and part that I chose the wrong guy), I don’t regret not having kids. But in the big picture, the choice of kids over work is not one to make logically, it’s a path led by the heart. And either direction can be great.

It is absolutely possible to have a fabulous career and have kids, many women do. It is also absolutely possible to have a great career and no kids. It is also likely that having kids might slow career growth - not for any discriminatory reason - but simply because kids become more important.

Choose the path based on the life you want to live. Don’t make the decision because your ego wants an extra zero on the retirement balance, or a fancy title to put in your linked in. Consider what your obituary will say.

Mine will say I had a good career. And I left behind a cat.

likeuplifting

:) well yes, I was summarizing. But thank you for reminder -

Honestly, if you’re still having this battle with yourself, you may not be ready for kids yet. Having kids is a major priority shift. Your career is not going to be/shouldn’t be your top priority any more. I’d say the same should be the case for your husband, but we all know that’s not quite true yet. When you’re ready to make the kids your top priority, that’s when you’ll be ready to have kids. You can see the posts on here day after day from the moms who feel guilty that they work too much, or the moms who “sacrificed” career progression to have a better WLB.

The only person who can make this choice is you. What drives your desire for career success? Can you channel that desire into success as a parent, or is your sense of self-worth so tied up in your progression at work that there’s no room for other measures of success? That’s not to say that any path you choose is right or wrong - just to say that it’s important to choose your path for the right reasons, using self-knowledge as your guide.

likefunny

I went on a six month leave last year for COVID + childcare issues, returned and right away got a new better role in a new group, and will be going up for promo this year.

Maternity leave can be but a blip.

That said, my story is preceded by nine years of no promo as I had two kids and navigated various internal roles for work life balance during that time. There will be trade offs at home or at work, or both, no escaping that. You’ll likely have to get comfortable with carving more of your own path, or at least boundaries. The standard playbook of work a ton and angle for promo doesn’t work as well with child responsibilities.

helpfullike

Don’t worry about leave. People take leave all the time to visit family, travel, etc. Also it’s a great time to think through priorities and you won’t get that time back. I agree that the real work / compromise is when you’re back and you determine what are your non negotiables. For me, I’m not traveling and I am protecting evenings for my kid. I ultimately think consulting isn’t the industry for me. Not that I am not ambitious but more of if I’m working, I want to do something I’m more excited about - and will this give more of myself when I work.

likehelpful

I’ve found it extremely helpful to consider what I’m really looking for from work as it fits into my life day to day and divorce that a bit from ratings and promotions.

For me my priorities were decent comp, interesting work, colleagues I respected. That helped me feel open and good about lots of other roles that I otherwise would have felt trepidation about, because getting off the client service fast track is a nerve wracking decision.

It’s easy in a way to see yourself progressing vs others and have that be a way to know you’re “doing ok”. That’s like 50% of the main consulting bowl. When other priorities and obligations come along, it can help to refine or change that yardstick.

helpful

I waited until I was promoted to Sr. Manager until I had kids. I’m glad I did. My career definitely plateaued - I was always a top performer (back when we used to ladder, I’d be “at the very top”, and was always promoted on time / early every level), but have been getting mediocre reviews / compensation since having kids. My priorities shifted, but also I got picky with roles (local was important even if the role wasn’t high impact).

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Like many have said, a child is a bigger decision than losing a year career-wise. Your manager definitely matters. I’m in tri 3 & my mgr has definitely kept me off the long term, higher impact projects. Luckily my title is enough to have recruiters reaching out so if things don’t change I’ll be jumping ship post-mat leave.

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