Question for Asian ladies: how old were you when you felt you “had it figured out” — in terms of work, relationships, etc? Asian M here, basically was an idiot until I hit 29-30. Still am an idiot, but feel like that age was a turning point, as this is when I gained much more confidence in all areas of life. (Other Ms feel free to weigh in as well)

I'm so confused why this was gendered at all 😂

26F here! I feel like my growth was more so from experience as opposed to maybe my age? I got out of a really shitty manipulative relationship at 21, spent 22 adjusting to life in consulting and in a new city, which kind of forced me to just reevaluate everything and make better decisions. I’d say from there it took like like 2-3 years for the results of that mindset shift to really set in. Now, I’m much more confident in myself and who I am, which helped me progress in my career/social groups because I ended up having more clarity of thought and knew what I wanted and what I didn’t! Also helped relationship wise because I spent the time while I was single just chilling and enjoying independence. So when I did meet my now boyfriend, we were really two whole individuals choosing to grow together instead of maybe one or the other being in a different stage of life or codependent on the other. Happy for you to have found this confidence, OP! ☺️

In the same underachieving Asian boat as you, captain. I like that the question is gendered, I always felt that women were significantly more mature than me and my homies. Here’s an anecdote, I was taking a summer algebra 2 class for fun coming into high school but was in there with dummy juniors and seniors instead of tiny chubby nerds like me. I was sitting behind a girl wearing a whale tail thong. I tapped her on her shoulder and discretely let her know her underwear was showing to save her from embarrassment 🤦🏻‍♂️

M 24 here. I have basically everything figured out (financial situation, health, family, relationships, etc). Only thing I’m missing is a passion lol.

I stopped caring about what other ppl thought about me at around 27 and just focused on myself. My circle also got smaller but tighter. This shift in approach made me healthier both mentally and physically. There are also very few situations that make me uncomfortable.

I don’t think I really have it “figured out” or what that term really even means. I normally figure things out as I go with a few plans here and there Generally speaking, I’m very responsible for my finance and health and help take care of parents since younger age. Started doing that since I was 21 and I’m 32 now. In addition, I do a lot of random shit that provides no real values but they’re my fun hobbies, such as playing pool

31 F - I don’t feel like I have anything figured out at all. Took a non-traditional career path and landed in consulting at 30, so I feel extremely green in my career. As for my relationship - in a long term one that doesn’t feel like it’s going anywhere at this point...

28F here and still have not “figured it out” and not sure I ever will

was an idiot until age 33ish and then picked up speed.

Asian male here, I’m 40 and still feel like an idiot.

27F: I feel like I had career/finances figured out around 25 and I’ve always been fine socially but started being v specific with which friendships to focus on around the same time after reprioritizing time commitments. As for relationships, that is still a raging dumpster fire 🔥

32F. Still not figured out and married. I think it’s a personality thing and growing up as an immigrant. I’m sure, from the outside looking in, some folks would think I’ve figured it out by now... but things can always get worse? With that said, I try to be chill and enjoy the present.

M here. Got married after 32. I never really felt the need to ‘figure out’ anything. So I was chill with whatever was going on.

Wait people actually “figure it out”? I thought the game of life was a huge wtf to the end. I have everything, job, assets, hobbies, married, etc, but at the end I’m still just entertaining myself until I die and have no idea what life is “supposed” to be about.