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i am looking for job in consulting
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Prioritize house, phone and basic utilities. You can’t apply for jobs without a physical address. Phone and utilities provide access to internet and basic lifelines. I would’ve said car before the coronavirus but who knows if job interviews will ever happen in person again
Mortgage and car are probably the most expensive things. I would start with calling whoever holds your car loan or lease and ask about options for delaying payments for three months. Is it an option given the current crisis? If so, will there be penalties, extra interest, increased payment requirements, etc.? Will they report to credit agencies?
Same questions for your mortgage. Under normal circumstances, your bank would work with you for a few months on lower payments, delayed payments, etc. as long as you call and talk to them first. (I used to audit banks and this was a rarely used option but definitely available if you’ve been paying in full and on time for a while.). This should be temporary, so hopefully those things would buy you a couple months to find new work. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that!
If salary goes away, what do I pay, not pay, pay first, etc... with the small savings I have? Just trying to stay in my home with my kids as long as possible. Or, do I put keys in mailbox and keep 401k intact and just go to mom’s with my kids?
You would file for ASAP because only a few hundred cases can be processed a day and there’s tens of thousands of new submissions. Then you call up each of your service providers, explain how you’ve been affected, and maybe they will provide some relief. They may allow you to skip a few payments.
Ideally you have a few thousand dollars in savings for emergency uses. If not, may as well build one up in the next 3 - 6 months. Ideally, you find a job that will at least cover all your bills and when the economy recovers you find one that proves you extra money.
Also try to eat cheap. Absolute case scenario, I would try to avoid cashing out your retirement account (unless it’s small anyway, and you think it can hold you over long enough to not lose your home).
Selling off your 401k stocks when the market is at a low is a horrible idea. Even worse if you do it to keep your home and end up losing it anyway.
Agree with the other comments above. I wouldn’t touch my retirement account unless absolutely necessary. All the basic things (home, utilities etc) are important since you and your kids need a place to live and need water/heat. It’s still important to put food on the table so I’d say if you feel it’s really tight, should explore the option of leasing your place and moving to your mom’s (that’s still an option). The rent income would help cover other essential expenses.