Question: What is your response to “you don’t look like a lawyer!”?

Give me all the sass 🍿.

likefunny
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“Omg thank you so much!”

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Nailed it

Depends on the circumstances, including my attitude that day.

“Oh, thank god!”
“White, male, mid-50s? True. I don’t.”
If I don’t want to give them much room to tell me how I misinterpreted but still want to call them out, “what an odd comment to make” and give a quizzical look.

likesmartfunny

These are great, ty!

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“what does a lawyer look like?” and then let them fumble over an answer

likeupliftingsmartfunny

Brilliant. What do we look like. 🙄

“And you don’t like look a client who could afford me”

likefunnyuplifting

Savage

likesmart

Usually depends on who says it. I'm "conventionally pretty" so people (men and women) are always shocked I'm a lawyer (and smart). I wish we could insert gifs to show the annoyed raised eyebrow I give people after they say it. Then they'll usually try to explain why they said it and 90% of the time related to my looks and 10% of the time they think I look young. Then I'll say, "it's amazing they let (insert description they used) women into the profession these days" 🙄

likehelpfulfunny

“What, like it’s hard?”

likefunnysmart

“And you don’t look like a model, yet here we are.”

funnylikesmart

Yeah I know..... I am not a stressed out looking white male going through a midlife crisis. Guess you are stuck with a young lady lawyer😛

*I am a minority and young-ish looking. One time a pro se litigant got rude and said that I should have just been a secretary since that’s what I look like . I fired back and said “ you should have just been a shady slum lord since that’s what you look like. Oh wait Nevermind. You are one!”

likefunnysmart

🔥🔥🔥 get ‘em

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“Thanks, looking and acting like regular humans is part of the training these days”

likefunny

It happens more often than it should (I’ve been practicing 32 years and it still happens). Many people say stupid and inappropriate things that show their implicit bias - my experience tells me it’s how you react that is a reflection of you. Remember it is a small practice community out there and many people watch and see what you do. I had a male lawyer ask me after a court hearing to have whomever is in charge of the case call him after I get back to the office. I said ok. Then I walked back to the office and called him. I never had to “say” anything to him. He realized how disrespectful his comment was and actually apologized. My reaction (or lack of reaction) gained his respect. I have many more stories like that. People ask how old my kids are and when I say 30, 28, and 23 they say, what did you start having kids at 12? Do you respond yes I was very promiscuous as a pre teen?

For the comments tied to you looking young, I have always opted for a simple “I get that a lot”. For the “are you the Court reporter” or “can you get coffee” or will you take notes or ask the person in charge to call me or the wow you are taking a deposition, that’s implicit bias. Recognize it for what it is, and address it professionally in the moment if you can. It’s the only way to educate them on implicit bias. If you can’t address in the moment (ie what if it is a judge saying it) or don’t feel comfortable in the moment then afterwards talk with your mentor or colleagues or firm diversity officer. If there is a way to correct the person they will help you address it. If there is no way to correct the person, it starts a discussion about an example of implicit bias in your workplace which will make your workplace better.

PS I am 57 and handle highly technical IP cases and I do not have a technical background. I still get the young comments but i also get “assumptions” that I won’t or don’t understand the technology. I smile and let them think what they want. After they loose at trial they have learned a very important lesson about not “judging thus book by its cover.”

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Thank you.

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"What, like it's hard?" Make sure you give a slight head tilt. Every now and then people make the connection to Legally Blond, but honestly it's usually female clients or paralegals that make the connection.
The annoying (almost always male) person that says it is usually a little confused but doesn't know how to follow up on that and I usually then move into whatever I am there for (depo, mediation, etc). It has the added bonus of giving me slight control over proceeding and then the other attorney has to try and assert control w/o appearing like a dick. It is oddly gratifying.

likefunny

Guess we have something in common (if from another lawyer—would get this all the time in depos).

likefunny

“What do you mean?” Let them do the work.

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I once responded, “Interesting. Is because I’m young, because I’m female, or because I’m attractive?” It was a particularly bad day several years ago and with a particularly agitating in-law, but it felt good for all the other times I’ve held my tongue.

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I make a joke about how “I might look too young now and I’m self-conscious about it, but that I think I’ll be happy about it as I get older.”

But yes, it’s a definite issue I face, almost weekly. I cut my hair for this reason, and powder only the areas of my face that crease as I smile or laugh. As the day goes on, the powder gets “cakey,” creating the appearance of “fake” wrinkles and making me look a few years older. Always wearing a suit and looking very formal also helps make you look older, if you’re looking for tips.

Pre-covid (late 2019 when I still had long hair) a bar cut my driver’s license in half because they were convinced I was a minor. I’m 29. It’s infuriating. 😫😫😫 It’s hard to get respect when you look the same age as your boss’ children!

likesmart

Yooooo what is your skincare routine ✨✨
Because I am 28 and... I look 28 ☹️

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I get this all the time. I’m under 5 feet tall and look no older than 17. They also say I “smile too much” to be a lawyer. People love small “put-downs.” They feel better about themselves. I just smile (and flick them off when no one is watching).

likesmart

Yep. That’s one of my superpowers!

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Should I take offense that no one has said that to me? Lol

likefunny

What do you tell PNC who say, "you seem so nice... are you sure you can get this done?"

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*Shrug* “I can be meaner if you’d like. I charge more for that.”

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I usually give them a 🤔 face and they then go on and say “but you look so young!” I graduated 2 years early so it’s always awkward but I pretend like I’m older so I don’t have to get into actually being young 😂 i work in a large firm and attorneys are required to wear suits at all times so it’s funny because I realize how many people who don’t know me think I just get really dressed up when they ask if I’m a lawyer

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My favorite was always when I showed up to deps and they asked if i was the Court reporter. No I’ll be defending this deposition thank you let’s get started. Or when they would act surprised that the partner was “letting” me take this dep. “guess he thought I’d do a better job than you.” I’m in house now and do a lot of work with the field so people don’t usually know what I look like (female, petite, “conventionally pretty,” and young looking). It works to my advantage I think but when I do meet people I get a lot of “wow you’re so smart and articulate, you aren’t what i expected at all!” Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

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