Reached out to an ex after not being in contact for 4 years. Said “Hi, I hope all is well.” No response. Intention was not to get back together (we’re both married now), more to mend fences since we were good friends once upon a time. Was reaching out a mistake?

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For what it’s worth, I never replied to messages like that either. I felt there was no need to revisit or rehash the past, what’s over is over. I’m looking forward, not behind.

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Why would you reach out if you are married ? That should be the last thing on your mind

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Why on earth are you reaching out? most everyone was “good friends with their ex once upon a time.” This is NOT a reason to reconnect. I would do some soul-searching on what was really motivating this.

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Not a mistake per se, since you shot your shot, but don't feel bad if they choose not to answer (I probably wouldn't either) and don't pursue a friendship further.

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If you’re married, id tell your S.O. This sounds shady and even if you didn’t do anything or get any response, this seems like the type of thing you should tell someone before they find out. Trust 101

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Not only were we good friends, but there was a group of us that were close that splintered when we broke up. I’ve been in touch with some of them but I think there’s still some weirdness over having everyone in one place. I’d like to be able to get some of those relationships back and be able to just be around each other. I was hoping that an olive branch might help now that so much time has passed and life has moved on and we’re all in a better mental place.

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Hang out with some of those other friends if you want, but i would not recommend you try to “get the whole group together again” or connect with your ex at all

Does your SO know you reached out?

No, I figured I would say something based on response, but he has ex’s that are still friends so I think I he’ll understand.

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