{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Really struggling mentally, client work slipping & my relationship with my SO is hard. I find it hard to get out of bed most days. My visa situation is unknown, I haven't seen family in two years and still recovering from a recent assault.. I just got dropped from my PRD (with my coach) for being flaky. I feel defeated. Anyone have advice on how to cope when struggling so much? I feel like life would be better if I didn't exist... FYI I'm already in therapy...", "post_id": "606b90d2ee1134002e8b1823", "reply_count": 10, "vote_count": 10, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Really struggling mentally, client work slipping & my relationship with my SO is hard. I find it hard to get out of bed most days. My visa situation is unknown, I haven't seen family in two years and still recovering from a recent assault.. I just got dropped from my PRD (with my coach) for being flaky. I feel defeated. Anyone have advice on how to cope when struggling so much? I feel like life would be better if I didn't exist... FYI I'm already in therapy...

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Hugs OP! Life has many joys, but also many painful experiences and sometimes, the challenging times all hit at once. When I feel very overwhelmed, I take a step back. I try to pinpoint all the different pressing matters, as you listed above. Then I try to think what is within my control, and what is not. 1) The visa, while is not in your control, the upside is that Deloitte tries to help practitioners temporarily relocating them to different offices (like Canada) until the visas are resolved. 2) The PRD - this is an easier one to fix. Meet with your coach and inform them you are struggling with your health and will take a step back from firm initiatives to focus on improving your health. If appropriate, send an email to PRD leader and tell them you apologize for not providing your typical 100% quality work and due to personal matters, you will be stepping back etc. People are forgiving. 3) the assault will take time to process and heal, I’ve been there. It sounds like you are working with a professional which is good. Give it time. 4) Relationship - sometimes the ones closest to us make us uneasy, try to figure out if it’s something worth fighting for and both committed, or if separation is best. 5) Client work. Meet with your project Leadership and discuss a transition plan to offload some of your responsibilities, be upfront about your struggles and tell them you don’t want your work to be impacted. Consider taking PTO or leave of absence. At the end of the day, the job will be here. You’re more important right now, think of yourself. Prioritize yourself.

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Ummm you need to find a way to go on short term disability. Seems like you have a lot going on and you could benefit from a break. I really hope that you got the help you needed at the time and have continued to receive help.

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Unfortunately I don’t think short term disability is available for OP if they are on a visa

Sorry about all that is going on. Just remember your happiness is more important than someone else’s yard stick. So if you need to take a step back or a break then do it. Just don’t suffer in silence - let the people around you who need to know, know that you are struggling. What country are you in? If you are in Europe you have a lot more leeway with employment laws and the ability to take time away for things like anxiety etc. That said make sure you keep talking to your therapist. Or find a new one if you just aren’t clicking. Having a therapist is on of the best things you can do for yourself. And lastly give yourself some grace. It’s ok not to be ok. And it’s certainly ok not to be perfect.

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Going through a lot of the same things you mention. Please feel free to DM if it would help! Lots of great advice here! Great group 🙏

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Sending you a shoulder squeeze or hug, your pick. Everyone has given great advice, I have nothing to add other than I’m thinking of you.

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Hi OP, I’m also international and faced some of these other stressors recently. One thing that helps me sometimes is trying to find the one, small good thing that happened in a day (e.g., making a good comment in a meeting, had your favorite meal for dinner, got to speak to parents after ages, whatever it is). Sometimes everything sucks, but trying to regain ownership of your mind can be empowering. Please DM me if you’d like to chat, rant, find solutions together... we’re thinking of you!

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Definitely look at the short term disability route. If you are in core consulting, it’s 16 weeks at 100% pay.

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OP stay strong! In a similar situation as well. All things aside, you need to prioritize YOU. PRDs are BS. Have you talked to your project leadership and you coach so they understand what you are going through? Take it one step at a time, find things outside of work that you are interested in. DM if you need someone to talk to, you got this👊

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