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You are allowed to be disappointed in someone’s work effort and it is wise to communicate that fact to them directly. It’s not off limits to tell someone they are not meeting expectations.
Easily. I can have low expectations for someone and they can fail to even meet those low expectations. If you work with 10 people, you realistically do not have the same high expectations for all. If you did, life would be much easier!
Much prefer this to the passive aggressive BS I see everyday
Pro
Yes, but in the bigger picture it depends on the totality of what is said. "I'm disappointed in you" by itself is not inappropriate, but it is unhelpful. "I'm disappointed in you because A, B and C, and I'd be happier if D, E and F happened" is appropriate, specific, actionable and helpful.
The "in you" part can feel very personal, but again, thats not inappropriate. Saying "disappointed because A, B and C" is easier to swallow because it takes the focus off the person. However, if I were told that someone was disappointed in me, I'd focus on the why, not nitpick the appropriateness of the wording.
No, it's patronizing.
Tell them their work sucked, specific reasons why it sucked, and that you expect better or they won’t be in their position much longer.
Pro
I would adjust that to something along the lines of, we have to be better about XYZ. Here’s what I be sure to do going forward in that situation.