Recently transferred from boutique to Big 4, female fish without established network or support group dealing with potentially embarrassing social faux pas

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You’re over thinking this. Depending on your relationship with the partner, feel free to mention your embarrassment in passing. Given it’s early in the project you’ll have plenty of time to prove your worth.. on heels

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I am a guy so maybe i think differently, but i absolutely cannot imagine torturing myself physically all day to look professional. At the end of the day, your height matters little. Your professionalism will get judged by your abilities not whether you show up in heels everyday.

Now back to your situation, from a third party perspective this is not even an incident, so what are you losing sleep over? There will be much worse actual occasions to lose sleep over later in your job, and at that point the last thing on your mind will be your herls

likeuplifting
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This is not an HR issue

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The client was a jerk. Many people unfortunately can be. Please don’t overthink this!

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I've known many a powerhouse under 5 feet tall. You were hired for a reason, most importantly your brain. Get comfortable and kill it on your project. That's all that matters

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Omg pls don’t contact hr. There was nothing bad in your story, happens to all!

Get shorter heels and well made shoes e.g., cole Haan. Or whatever brand suits your feet.

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1) force yourself to tell the story out loud (even just to yourself in the mirror) until you can laugh about it and stop stressing. It really is not a big deal AT ALL so don’t waste any more energy obsessing over it
2) find some more comfortable shoes. Wedges, flats, chunkier heels, whatever. You don’t have to be rocking anything that’s uncomfortable just to look the part
3) invest in some ‘bag flats’, bandaids, gel pads, etc that you can always keep in your work bag for emergencies.

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Wow! I’m going to try 1

Way overthinking it! Everything’s gonna be fine! Make a casual joke about it next time you see p.
Don’t email.

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I haven’t worn heels to work in a long time and don’t know why I made myself suffer for so long. I don’t miss them and there are a ton of comfortable professional flats.

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I wasn’t there to hear the tone but think she was joking. Don’t overthink it- lots of great advice above. If you weren’t sensitive about your feet, I would tell you to get some flats and next time you see her, let her know you took her advice!

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Female partner here. A3. You are rocking the advice!,

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Self deprecating humor will salvage virtually any awkward situation

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Can you elaborate so we can try and help?

likeuplifting

Thanks everyone, I’m overwhelmed by the replies and support here. At my old firm I had an office and a desk, and was used to being seated most of the time (and when things got too bad I could kick off my heels under the desk and none would be the wiser).

I hear you on owning the situation and being more confident. I’m a 5’3 Asian female in my late twenties and have been told I look like I just graduated high school. The physical and psychological lift high heels give me is something I’ve grown almost reliant upon.

Anyways, in an Uber now heading for the airport, heels thankfully still on my feet. I’ve got a pair of amazingly comfortable sandals in my suitcase I’m going to change into at the airport. It’s going to be glorious.

likeuplifting

Focus on building the network part you mentioned, doesn’t matter if you’re male/female fish- this is critical and both sides fail miserably which can make or break your consulting career. The other stuff you mentioned doesn’t even need a reaction, you’re wasting your time if you spend more than a min on that

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Don’t sweat it, at all. I am a partner and I wish my wife would wear heels more, but it kills her feet.

As for the above post, “correcting” a female client around heels is not the best move, esp. as a male.

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Wrong. The comment the client made was completely out of line. And to excuse it because it was a female client is even worse. Would you “give it a pass” if a male client said the same thing? There is no excuse for a client to say anything at that point beyond “those are great shoes” .

Thanks all, appreciate the kind words. What do you all do in this situation? Just grin and bear it? Practical answer is stop wearing heels but not sure I can pull that off (I’m short enough as is).

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Wear flats and use humor.

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Agree you’re overthinking it. If anything, might be a good inside joke going forward between you and the client and/or partner. Being able to laugh at yourself is an incredibly endearing quality In the future, maybe see if you can fit flats in your purse to switch into? Either way, this little incident will not define your success on the project.

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You do have to toughen up a bit, not your feet. I love heels and wear them all the time, but yes they will hurt after a whole day of standing. I just totally own it. Everyone on my team, including 2 male partners, knows I am a "shoe person." I tell them they're walking too fast, because they're in more comfortable shoes. If they ever retorted with "well wear something more comfortable then" I'd probably give them a death glare and show up at the next c-suite meeting in sneakers (which I have done, but it was because I sprained my ankle while in heels and the only other shoes I brought were running shoes).
Since you asked for other anecdotes, not as bad because it wasn't a client, but I tried to walk from my hotel to office one time through underground tunnels. Got lost and it took way more walking than anticipated. My feet were destroyed, so much skin had rubbed off that even Band-Aids weren't helping. I showed up first day in team room, took off my shoes immediately, and didn't put them back on until we left the team room.
Do I lose sleep over this shit? No. You should develop a more "give zero fucks" attitude, as long as you're good at your job, let all the other crap slide off your back. It will serve you well in this industry (especially as a woman).

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Sounds like a fun anecdote to share over a drink with your colleagues. It’s human moments like this that further the bonding among your teams.

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First project first day on client site, big meet and greet kickoff with the broader client team and our entire internal team (30+ people) after a long day on site.

I had decided to wear closed toe pumps with a 3 and a half inch heel. Not the most comfortable shoe but the most professional pair I own. Honestly wouldn’t have been a problem but I was ok my feet all day meeting people and right when I was ready to go back to my hotel room and take off my shoes this unexpected “informal” social gathering happened.

After standing around for an hour or so making nice my feet were absolutely killing me and I was afraid people would mistake my distraction for disinterest. I’m a little shy about my feet and wouldn’t be caught dead in a million years walking around barefoot in a professional setting, so I excused myself and ducked into the break room right next to the meeting hall.

I had just collapsed into a chair and kicked off my shoes, and was inspecting the damage to my feet when the lead client and the project partner came in discussing the SOW. They saw me alone, heels kicked off, rubbing my feet with a deer in the headlights look. The client (older female) looked surprised and said “you know if you can’t handle your heels you really shouldn’t wear them”. I think she was being friendly / joking but I was mortified. Partner just laughed. I stuffed my feet back in my shoes and shuffled out of there muttering sorry.

Haven’t been able to sleep since. Should I send an email to the partner apologizing? Partner plus client? Am I just over thinking this? Anyone else with a similar story that recovered? What a terrible way to start a dream job...

Well it’s morning now but you should definitely get a drink in these situations.

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PSA for boys of the bowl

Please do not message me and say that you are 6'1.
Being 6ft is not a personality trait.

We all know that you are probably 5'11 and 6'3 in heels.

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