Recently, unofficially (I don't have health insurance) diagnosed with ADHD / borderline personality disorder. I am barely hanging on to a full time job and lost all freelance opportunities due to flakiness / inability to focus. It's clear to me that my mental health is again getting the best of me and I need help desperately. I need to quit my full time job and try to sublease my incredibly expensive apartment, is it possible to get unemployment when you quit? I doubt it just wanted advice

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okay so i have been diagnosed with both at different times in my life, and will offer some insight based on my experience

a BPD diagnosis can feel simultaneously validating and scary, because it explains a lot of what happens for you, but the combination of traits and the survival rate are scary as hell. the good news is that dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) works and it saves lives. when followed as written (i.e. full six months of weekly group therapy along with weekly individual therapy), it works really well and helps you learn skills that help you get past the obstacles in your life. it’s a big commitment and it’s expensive, but you may be able to get it covered by insurance, especially if your doctor or psychiatrist helps you make a case for yourself.

bpd is diagnosed by a series of traits like unstable relationships and shifting self image. these are things that you can work through with the help of a therapist. after working through my harmful BPD stuff (diagnosed in my early 20s), i realized that a lot of the things that i continue to experience (impulsivity, sensitivity, intense emotions) are also parts of having ADHD. though i was able to manage a lot of it on my own starting a stimulant medication helps moderate some of that and makes life much more livable. i definitely wish i had known about it earlier

more immediately, it sounds like work and money are stressing you out. talk to your manager (in a video call, not over text), tell them you’re going through some mental health stuff and recognize that it’s affecting your work and need to take it easy. enroll in insurance through your state if you qualify, or talk to HR about enrolling now due to a life change.

this seems like a tumultuous time and if i were in your situation, i actually think that having a stable job would be helpful for me. you may also consider starting to work somewhere else for a bit (especially if they have better insurance options or work life balance, like in-house at a tech company). if that feels too tumultuous, maybe not worth it though

start a medication that helps with the adhd as soon as you can, start a form of therapy that helps you stop harmful behaviors (like DBT) soon after. you will make it through this

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that’s uplifting, sending lots of love your way and if you’re looking for something in NYC, dm me your book and i’ll pass along

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I want you to know you’re not alone. I am currently in the process of getting a late in life “official diagnosis” for ADHD. In my experience you will need official diagnosis for your condition to make filing for aid/unemployment possible. If you are able to enroll in your company’s health insurance you should do so or seek out insurance through your state’s insurance connector. If you have the ability to shop multiple options, look for a PPO or option that will not require referrals. This will speed your ability to see specialists without a referral from an primary care dr. Also, if the apartment is expensive, sublet it to find a cheaper place to offset health insurance costs? Just an idea??? The process to an official diagnosis can be difficult and long. You are not alone, but you are smart to ask and research your state and local requirements.

helpfullike

Absolutely, looking into subleasing and moving now, just hard to force my brain to do the work it requires. Thank you!!

I want to let you know that you’re doing the right thing by asking for advice first. This rocky road won’t last forever and I believe you can bounce back from this! Managing work and ADHD is possible. :)

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Thank you ♥️♥️♥️

This might be a great case for short term disability or an LOA. I know someone with BPD that was able to use short term disability for a paid medical leave of absence so she could get some space for therapy etc. check your HR paperwork. Sending you good vibes!

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Thank you I will look into it!!

It depends on your state! You can quit for various reasons and still get benefits in some states, including for illness. Guessing since you don’t have health insurance you’re not getting short term disability thru your work either?

I’m sorry you’re going thru this, been in a similar situation and it sucks - sending you some positive energy that you’ll get it figured out and feel better soon ✨

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Thank you 🥺♥️

Sorry you’re struggling! Does you work offer any kind of EAP? That’s separate from insurance and might be a benefit you get. Otherwise, do you have short-term disability, or would your job let you take a leave of absence? I don’t think you can get unemployment if you quit.

Re: insurance, have you looked into coverage under the government exchange (Obamacare)? They let you sign up outside of the enrollment period if you have a life event like losing a job, and your cost will be reduced/subsidized if you can prove your income is low.

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Thank you I will look into both options!

I would apply for Federal and State FMLA and have it backed up by a doctor’s certification. Disability is sadly impossible to live on at this point, so do what you can to get proper treatment while protecting your job and then come back when you’re able

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Thank you ♥️♥️

So sorry you are struggling through this. Most of the answers below are excellent. Just chiming in to offer support. As a late diagnosed ADHD-er, with BiPolar and maybe Autism I GET IT. Not sure were you work but there could be a mental health support group or team you can reach out to. Also - this is weird but I've found a LOT of protein in the morning helps me with my focus. just a trick to try

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