I have felt this for the past 20 years. I do not enjoy the holidays at all. It just means more work and stress, with zero joy for me.

On the flip side, it’s easy to nostalgiacize former, flirty christmasses. But there was a lot of angst that came with those vibes: some lonely christmasses, some broken hearts, some being coupled and wondering if I’d ever get engaged or have something certain and happy.

All that stuff is just admin really!

And the joy of kids and someone to love on is pretty amazing.

I hear you! It might be too late cuz you set the precedent but…eff the elf. I ain’t doing all that.

I feel like we need a thread for holiday shortcuts lol.

You don’t need to do elf, this was not a thing before Instagram. Was it? I didn’t grow up with it. I have two elementary school aged kids. We put up the tree, some window clings on our apartment windows, and then there’s presents under the tree one morning. That’s it. Keep it simple.

None of us need to post photos of every outdoor holiday light show just to make it seem like we are “doing the holidays” to the rest of the world.

Instead of researching holiday perfection, kick back one night. Sit on the couch and watch a holiday movie with them. Put on some festive music and read. This is the stuff your kids will remember.

There’s way too much pressure to do the mostest all the time. Don’t give in to it.

Tradition is peer pressure from the dead (or living). I have heard of that somewhere and say that to myself every i am "supposed" to do things for the sake of tradition. I still buy gifts for teachers, do fun holiday things but other stuff like elf or things i am not too fond of, they go out the window. In a way i am making my own tradition in my family for the holidays.

The invisible labour of (usually) moms hits it's peak during holiday seasons 😮‍💨. This is what I do with my family: presents for direct family members and close friend's kids only, stockings, decorated tree, lights on the house (my hubby's responsibility), looking at Xmas lights in the neighbourhood, one craft, and a ski trip (ok, this last one is a massive effort but we've done it every year with my fam since I was 4 yrs old so the packing and prep is on autopilot now), attending but not hosting xmas dinner.

No Christmas cards (I send a generic Christmas email), no elf on the shelf, no baking, no Christmas markets or Santa pictures, no matching pjs, no hosting dinners or parties (will only attend).

Also, all gifts and house decorations/ lights get bought and wrapped, and put up before Dec 1st so I can actually enjoy the holidays!

I’m starting to see the effing Elf in couples or larger groups - it’s now not enough for one elf to do something cute overnight, now you have to set up an entire army of elves - I say “hell, no!”

Drop the stuff that you don’t want to do.

I don’t do presents for anyone, except my child and her teachers. For DD, we go to the store and she gets to pick out whatever she wants within a $ and size limit. She is 6 and she knows Santa isn’t real. The teachers get $40 cash, super easy and no stress. They’re grateful not to get mugs/candles/endless Starbucks gift cards.

F the elf. No thanks - that seems both stressful and creepy.

We do a nice Christmas tree, for me. That’s my only request for Christmas. Again, no presents. I buy what I want all year round. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I got nothing for the sick days and the work deadlines. That sucks :(

I think it’s time to scale back of some of the activities and carve out some “me” time.

Some may say this is a grinch move, but I think we are way more “festive” :)

We do like nothing. I put a small tree, only 1-2 presents comes from Santa and one present from us. We don’t exchange gifts anymore between my husband and I, except I get him socks and underwear yearly. For family I may get grandparents something small but it’s usually a very nice restaurant gift card. One family we draw names. We have 4-5 Christmas’ (divorce and friends). Next year we are going to have one big Christmas and anyone is welcome but that’s all and it will be a big feast for friends and family, I’m tired of carting all around.

I say this because I want my kids to enjoy Christmas and not be stuck at places or parties with people they don’t know or like (some sides of the family are boring or they don’t know as well) I also want less stress. Yesterday we did a cookie day. I had the sugar cookies all baked so the kids and their cousins got to make a mess decorating while their and Aunt and I enjoyed wine. We take care rides and walks through Christmas lights setups, we will visit the German Christmas Market. I’m trying to instill more Christmas as a immediate family time then of everything else. Next year with the cookies we talked about the kids all making Christmas cards for the nursing home.we try and do more community stuff during the year so my kids understand the giving vs getting side of things. They also know they aren’t getting a mountain of presents because I rather take them on a cool vacation.

To some it sounds humbug because we aren’t running around crazy, but it becomes more relaxing especially with end of the year rush at work.

(I also say this living in MN/WI border on a farm, but family in the cities… I know there are different societal pressures in cities)

It’s too much. We don’t pretend to be Santa (it’s a story), just give the kids 1 present each from the Christmas list they’ve been adding to every time we go to the store, no elf, a few holiday events that I found out about via local instagrams (“research”), decorate with the same stuff from the year prior, give gift cards for teachers with a quick note. Some years I add in family photos and a card but only when I feel like it. If it doesn’t bring you joy… don’t do it. I really don’t think the kids are missing out on anything and they’ll appreciate a happier parent more anyways 😀

Yes, unfortunately I do all these things (except the stupid elf) because they do bring me joy, but I stress about fitting in all that “joy.” Maybe next year the card can be a quick picture …

All of this (except also minus the elf - cannot, will not do the elf). Also not to mention the agony of having to buy gifts for all the adults. We have lots of siblings and parents that are all impossible to buy for, and that burden of thinking of something, finding it, ordering it, wrapping it... always falls on me too.

Feel the same way. I think the only thing that has made it better is being completely done with gifts / everything fully wrapped by Dec 1 and also decorating very very early- like the day after Thanksgiving. I realized as sad as it is- I only really enjoy the weekends - so I have to make each of them count. Contrary opinion - I love the elf - my kids get so much joy out of it it’s worth the hassle.

Kids are older (college bound) - I give up on trying to be Merry and I’m just going to take care of myself 😊🍾🎉!!

Our elf is just a doll named James that we sometimes move to do silly things (maybe 4 times a month - might be inside a stocking, might be in the tree). We would not have bought it but my parents got it for us. We will not be doing the story / responsibility with it.

Christmas cookies - I bought nestle sugar cookies, put 6 of them in the toaster oven for 6 min, and we decorated those. Actually, we ate 4 and then each kid just decorated & then scratched off the frosting & redecorated haha one decorated cookie only was so great.

My husband puts up every single decoration one night

I do get everyone gifts - kids just get 2-3 gifts from us, but it’s stressful getting our parents and siblings gifts.

I’d like to drive to see Christmas lights in the neighborhood or go to a market but haven’t made the time yet. Honestly I just want to do the market without the kids

No elves. Best tradition I have followed for the last two years is to travel somewhere - letter from Santa that he’s giving us flight tickets blah blah - super low stress, no drama

Amen. This is 100% accurate

Wow. If you are doing all of that just for this time of the year/Christmas, I can only imagine the rest of the year, holidays, and birthdays in your life. You're gonna be very burnt out beyond crispy and recognization. Take a step back from all of these activities to gain a breather for yourself and just enjoy the holidays with your living family/friends!