Rising second year. I was chatting with the assigning partner (one of the partners I work with the most) the other day finalizing my vacation coverage when he started joking with me and saying so and so (figurative reference to certain types of people) could be such “f&$!:n a$$holes” about taking time off. The cursing caught me off guard honestly lol, is this normal?

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Cursing caught you off guard. That’s all I took away from this 😂

likefunny

Adorable. Consider it a good thing. I curse like a drunken sailor. Most my bosses did too. I don’t trust someone who doesn’t hahahah (not saying you don’t, just being funny).

likefunny

It varies by person and firm. I curse all the f***ing time at work, to the extent that i joke about needing to not bring my work vocabulary home. There are others who do otherwise. As a junior you err low cursing of course, better safe than overstepping, but folks do it.

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Yep. On stuff like this the partner/client is your dancing partner and best to let them lead.

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Oh bless your heart, I wouldn’t make it through the day without cursing in conversations with colleagues. There’s one partner who is averse to it and it’s a struggle to get through conversation.

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At this point I have a swear jar for meet and confers.

likefunny

Yes…. People swear.

Means the partner is a bit more comfortable with you. You usually don’t swear the first time you meet someone professionally, but once you have a relationship it’s pretty normal.

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He’s bonding. You must be doing something right

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He’s getting comfortable with you. I swear A LOT and at work, I try to think more when I’m talking so I don’t swear in front of people I don’t really know but I let loose around colleagues I’m comfortable with

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Exactly. Do it with clients I am comfortable with as well (woman here, if it makes a difference).

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Lots of people at my firm curse. not at each other, people are just relaxed in their language and not uptight about that. If I get a crazy email from opposing counsel I definitely might say “what the fuck was that?”

likeuplifting

Sweet summer child

likefunny

It’s totally normal to curse in the groups I’m in, at least with the men. I personally don’t curse in front of or on calls with the female partners and associates but my two supervising partners let it rip and it’s no issue if I do with them. I was on a call with one corporate partner and he referred to opposing counsel as “f***ing r****ded” the other day and then was like “sorry for my language” lol but it wasn’t a big deal at all.

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Bless your heart. You’ll do yourself in with this attitude. Good luck out there.

did you go to BYU? 😂

funny

I went to BYU. Cuss like a sailor too (and always have).

likefunny

Maybe it’s because I come from a farming family, but I curse all the time. 😂

uplifting

Lol even clients and I have traded swear words (not directed towards each other, more like “wtf is the other side doing”)

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It’s a bonding ritual

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Yes, this is normal in biglaw. Means he’s getting more comfortable with you! As the junior associate, don’t be the person starting up the swearing but OK to respond in kind (and never directed at someone like “duck you”). You’ll start hearing it from clients/on client calls too, soon enough.

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It is normal for humans to curse— it is not normal to be a baby about it

I drop the F bomb with partners all the time. 🤷‍♂️ maybe I should cut back.

Pretty sure a client’s respect for me shot up because I said OC loves to try to fucking re-trade and we’d shut that down real fast. A moderate amount of immodest language is usually fine

Yikes. Never work for a restaurant

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