Salam everyone, wanted to ask if anyone here is in a relationship with someone close to their age and how they’re navigating it for ex a guy being 22 and the girl being 24. I’ve been advised to find someone 3-4 yrs younger than me because that would make things smoother and there would be less fighting. What are your thoughts? Also I’m Arab and will most likely be marrying an Arab girl if that changes anything.

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I don’t think age will determine more or less fighting. I think that is dependent on personality, not age.

The famous example of Khadija R.A. Being older than our Prophet pbuh is one I’ll remind you of as you think about this.

My advice...if you move forward with her, you cannot let others create issues around your age gap. That will create a divide between you two and create unnecessary problems. If you two are not clicking, best to end the relationship.

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Age has nothing to do with your relationship unless you let it cause a divide between you two. I know plenty of Muslim couples where the wife is at least 3 years older than her husband and their relationships have all worked out great aH. But again, has nothing to do with age. Has everything to do with your relationship, communication, and dynamics between the both of you

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The only dynamic is when you want to have kids. She may want them sooner than you do.

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2 years older doesn’t make any difference! Esp if they are still in their 20s. For a woman36 and 38 makes a little difference but I don’t think it makes too much difference if both are younger

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We Arabs have a lot of rules and a lot of advice. For example, the girl should be younger or within a certain age difference limit.
Please take it with a grain on salt. If you get along with this girl and things are good, go for it. There is no rule in life that if you fight less if the age is 3-4 younger than you. There are people who are the perfect age and still fight.
If you’re a 22 year old male you’re very young. These years in your 20s will teach you and show you a lot, if you let them.

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“These years in your 20s will teach you and show you a lot, if you let them”
It was not in reference to marriage. It means you will grow and evolve if you allow yourself to.

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Happily married for 9 years now and my wife is 1 year younger. I think it may have helped that we're close in age but honestly I simply prioritized finding someone who had an excellent character AND who I was attracted to. That has helped us have a healthy relationship with both love and trust.

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Been married for 4 years now. Wife is same age as me. We knew each other as friends before we took our relationship to the next level.

The only issue we’ve had is deciding when to have kids. Expecting our first now but I know we both would have liked to wait a couple of years. But it wasn’t possible given we’re both 30 now and want to have 2 kids ideally with a 2 year gap. The general consensus is pregnancies are tougher on women after 35. Other than that no issues being same age. I believe other factors play a more important role e.g. personalities, backgrounds, exposure

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Thanks! Super excited.

My thoughts are that your parents relationship with each other (how they disagree, communicate, make decisions) will affect your future relationships more than the age gap. Age gap is just a factor that may or may not affect it. For example, theres also the possibility that someone elder could bring more maturity to the relationship.

Just culture I guess

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