{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Seeking financial/relationship advice: Long term girlfriend is in medical school while I’m a well-paid consultant. I am building savings meanwhile she has no income and will probably graduate with $200k in student debt. This is definitely the woman I want to marry, but I get anxious as our financial situations diverge from one another. Anyone ever have a similar experience or have tips to share?", "post_id": "5ee1dff00f3e070020111342", "reply_count": 19, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting" }

Seeking financial/relationship advice: Long term girlfriend is in medical school while I’m a well-paid consultant. I am building savings meanwhile she has no income and will probably graduate with $200k in student debt. This is definitely the woman I want to marry, but I get anxious as our financial situations diverge from one another. Anyone ever have a similar experience or have tips to share?

likefunny
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She will make a lot after residency? Lock her down and generate the backended cashflows

likefunnysmart

This is my plan too. Make sure you put a ring on it and nudge her towards the higher paying specialties. Then retire to become a hobby business owner or stay at home dad in your mid-30s 👍

likesmart

Tell her you will pay off her debt for 20% of her future earnings. Stay with her until after residency, break up with her, find a 21 year old girl friend and retire in the Caribbean whilst living off your 20%

funnylike

Yuck

Just be open about it. If you’re going to get married, I would recommend viewing the debt as a mutual expense. I am in the position of having the debt. It’s just a line item in our monthly budget and I manage the payment and making sure it’s made on time. When you choose a house, cars, savings, etc, just factor the debt into the budget and don’t live above your collective means. Understand that she will make good money after this and would be able to pay it by herself. I recommend reading some marriage financial planning books/ articles. Money is the source of the most stress that leads to divorce. It’s good you’re getting out in front of it and make sure you don’t let it be an issue you still have before committing to marriage.

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OP you actually judge people for their debt? No less med school debt, where is true love my friend

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While marriage is great for true love, the reality is that it’s a transaction at the end of the day and a merging of assets and liabilities - definitely not wrong at all for OP to take this into consideration as it will impact their future financial situation!

uplifting

She's a doctor. You'll get laid off first. That should be your comfort

likefunny

What are your future financial goals? Does she share them? Are you able to have open conversations about money? If you can have those conversations and get on the same page, then you’re off to a decent start. That $200k is scary, but y’all should be fine with teamwork, some strategy, and consistency... and she’s going to be a doctor

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🙄

likesmart

My cousin was in Med school racking up 200k+ in debt while her husband was already a successful engineer. They made a well thought through financial plan. They’ve been happily married for over ten years, and now she is the primary bread winner and debt free. Have an open and honest conversation, you’ll be okay. *Need to factor in specialty, what’s the pay back?

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Specialty is the biggest factor to consider. Family medicine and pediatrics pay the lowest and would make it tough to pay off $200k in many cities. The second factor is geography. Where do you want to live long term? Certain specialties do much better in certain geographies. There is some uncertainty in where you might end up if you are pursuing the best pay.

Yeah, they diverge...you’re not married. If this is the woman you want to marry, then you’ll suck it up and work through this. Especially since she’s going to be just fine (doctors make $1 or $2). If you’re doubting it because she doesn’t have income right now as she pursues her goals, she isn’t the woman you want to marry. She probably wants to marry a man who prioritizes her over money, and doesn’t see her as a poor catch-up.

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Remember the policies you set today, you live by tomorrow!

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If this is a problem for you now, it will be a problem later.

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What are you anxious about exactly?

Step out of your comfort zone start using some of your savings to pay for her, or pay down her debt. You will earn a lifetime of goodwill. If you know you want to marry her, then get engaged. Long engagement is fine. Go for it.

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