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"post_content": "Shady or not? Met someone on dating app. Made no mention of having a kid until first date. Nothing in profile about being a parent etc. said it's because they wouldn't get any dates if they had.",
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Yes shady
Yes dishonest. Dump immediately. Next!!
Happens all the time - met someone and spoke over the phone for a bit. It was found well and were planning to meet in-person for the first time. But suddenly responses went cold right after I mentioned my race. Interestingly enough profile said open to several races, and mine was on that list.
Lying about it if asked directly would be shady. Not mentioning it on a dating profile is in no way shady.
It's not fair to either of you. Having a kid is a big deal to spring upon someone once you guys think it might be going somewhere. It's not like something trivial like hiding a smile in a profile pic because they have crooked teeth. I'd bet that the deception is enough to turn away several guys, even the ones who may have been interested.
Does it say on your profile that kids are a deal breaker for you?
I don't think "shady" is the right word. Imo it's fine.
^going well
"Open to several races" on the profile = NEXT
It's different at a bar, you're already out and didn't need to coordinate and really invest time and effort. Besides buying her a drink and extricating yourself at a bar is easier than a meal at a restaurant. Once she told me I lost interest and the rest of the meal was excruciating. Why set someone up like that?
I go back and forth on this. I met a guy who happens to be divorced and didn't mention it on his profile for the very same reason. He did mention it on the first date, which in hindsight was ok I guess. We did have several dates afterwards. But I think having a kid is bigger deal. I would like to see that on his profile. It is a deal breaker for me. Why waste my time on something I know I won't be able to accept. If I happen to like the person and then find out, that would be a turmoil I am not willing to have. So yes, I think it's shady.
Kids can be a deal breaker for many people.
Deal breaker doesn't mean "I may change my mind about kids because we had such great chemistry." Just be upfront on your profile so neither parties' time is wasted.
I'm sure it's also very difficult and awkward for her. She probably just prefers to say it in person
I think parents should mention that they have a kid or kids. I think it is horrible if they have pictures of them in their profile and I automatically swipe left. Kids' photos do not belong on a dating site.
Said that they thought if their date met them and they had chemistry they'd tell them about having a kid because by that time it wouldn't matter.
Dating can be tough as a parent. But a lie of omission is a horrible way to start anything. And as a responsible parent wouldn't you want to get out people who don't want to be around your kids for the sake of the kid?
*vet
That's like my assigned graduate school mentee, who didn't disclose that he already interviewed with BCG and didn't get an offer. He wanted to talk "a few times" before telling me. Yea, right...
NEXT ?
@EY2 come on. Not like the person waited a year. It was mentioned on the first date.
Imagine you had met him at a bar and hit it off. Think you would have talked about his kid then? Probably not, IMO. So, how's this any different?