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What’s your relationship like with the partner? I might start with a casual, in-person comment along the lines of, “Hey, I heard you all went to lunch today. I would really love to join next time.” And then if it happens again, then maybe I’d complain further up the chain. This would also allow you to see his reaction and evaluate any reason he provides.
That’s actually a really great idea. We actually have a pretty good relationship and I’ve had no performance issues so this caught me off guard.
Could there have been a reason you were excluded, like maybe a potential scheduling conflict with your schedule, or perhaps they were going to meet or discuss a client that all of them will be working with? If nothing explains why you were excluded other than your gender, then yes, I’d find that bothersome.
I dealt with this for almost 2 years and it is 100% why I left my last firm. Good luck girl!
Yes
Also suggest listening to “Good ole boys club” by Kacey Musgraves while you’re gearing up for addressing the situation (which definitely needs to be addressed). It may be because I’m in the Deep South but it helps me
Amazing. Will do!!
Yes.
Chief
Yes. Complaint to the DEI person levels of upset if the firm has one.
Used to happen to me all the time. I should have seen the red flags. Went on for six years. They'd never promote me and all the men received raises and promotions before me when less qualified. If it continues - get out. But don't let this first incident be a reason to leave. Just be mindful for other events.
Absolutely keep a record of this with the DEI partner/admin. Might be nothing, but might be a pattern (could affect others even if you leave)
Yes
Yes
Enthusiast
Yes
Depends. Are you the most junior? Are you not someone he normally works with? Are they all friends outside of work?
Being the only female and not being invited won’t raise any concerns by itself. That said, if other female associate have also been excluded in the past, that’s something to be bothered about.
Pro
This. Is there a female partner you can discuss with? Maybe an email - “Bob told me there was a team building lunch on x-day. Was I supposed to be there? Hate that I missed it and certainly up for the next one.
Bowl Leader
100% yea.
Yes.
Insurance defense?
Switch to plaintiff. That won’t happen.
And to answer you: yes.