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Should married men ask female coworkers out for coffee/drinks/lunch?

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Unless you're Mike Pence, yes. It's only weird if you make it weird.


I feel for you guys. The culture that you now have to operate in is one where you are damned if you do/ damned if you don’t. But as one of the only women in my industry/ only woman on my team, it is very frustrating that men will purposely keep me at an arms length out of fear of how it will be perceived by others if they took an interest in getting to know me. I would ask that you try and treat your female co-workers the same way you would your male co-workers, not as liabilities that you need to tip-toe around.


Platonic = yes Romantic = no


I ask all my coworkers out for coffee/lunch/drinks. How else do you get to know them...?


Would the situation have been different if you were single? What about if you were married to a man? All to reflect on the emphasis you put on the opposition between ‘married men’ and ‘female’, which sidelines the important things to think about: Am I being inclusive? Am I being respectful? Am I being coherent with my intentions?


Only if it is to discuss appropriate topics and develop your work relationship and offer professional guidance and mentorship etc.

If it's nothing more than just coffee/drinks, why not?

You should do the same thing you would do for your male co-workers. If you’d invite them out for coffee then yes, you should.

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