Significant other and I have been dating for about 6 months. We got in an argument 2 days ago and I just found out their grandparent passed away today. We haven’t spoken since our argument, but obviously want to be there for them. What’s something thoughtful/nice I can do to say I’m sorry and I’m sorry for your loss? Tbh I’m worried that our disagreement might be the end of our relationship, which I don’t want that to be the case.

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Just reach out and talk.

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You did all you had to do and just let him grief. If he wanted you to be there, he would’ve said something. Especially if he is grieving. You may want to send him a meal but you should wait and not make his grief about your relationship regardless of your feelings/

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You haven't spoken in two days? Y'all need counseling

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Hmm.. there were times we didnt speak longer than that with my spouse. Sometimes space is needed to reflect and be ready for a mature discussion

I’m sorry that he lost his grandparent. Everyone deals with grief in different ways. As much as this may not be what you want to hear, he most likely needs to focus on his family and his own emotions right now.

I would recommend texting him and expressing your condolences, offering your support, food (because no one wants to cook or have to figure out food when they are mourning a loss), or a shoulder to cry on.

He may not respond right away. If he wants to reconnect with you, he will get back to you when he feels ready to do so.

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Drop off a meal and a handwritten note - give them space and don't make it about your relationship. "I'm so sorry for your loss and hope you find peace in the memories of your grandparent. Sending love to you and your family, I'm here if you need me 🤍"

You can send a text a week after that: "Checking in, no need to respond but hope you're doing okay. Let me know if you're free to catch up soon"

Hopefully your actions and kindness will allow them to see what type of partner you are, despite the fight a few days ago.

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A1 have you had a partner go through grief? I have. Your advice may work for some but not all - if they just had a fight and she is messaging every day that could be super frustrating and feel like a chore looming to respond to her. Grief isn't linear. I think dropping off a meal and leaving a note without any pressure is a form of showing up. But who knows, every person is different.

I’d definitely let them know that you’re there for them if they need you, but would also give them some space if that’s what they need. Frankly, 6 months might not be long enough to be relying on someone when you lose family. They might wanna process it with people closer to them.

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Make him or send him a meal?

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Im sorry for his loss and sorry you’re going through this. It sucks. But if I were you, Id be a very present girlfriend.

Day 1 - Ill cook meals, get them to him and leave. Ill have a note with the meal saying how I love them and how I wanna be there for them and dont know how. And ask « how can I make you feel better »
Everyday for next week- send a good morning. Ask how are you / how is parent. Say good night and that you are thinking of them.

I think its about being (1)persistent and consistent with your efforts (2) not making it about you (3) not taking things personally

Im saying this because I went through a similar experience with a friend and they didnt respond because they were so sad but I kept sending notes every single day for a week. They told me afterwards they felt so so loved and appreciated.

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Thanks for the advice!

“I heard about what happened, so sorry for your loss. Our issues aside, I really want to be there for you right now in whatever capacity you need, even if that’s space. Could I bring you dinner? Would you want to get out of the house and do something?”

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