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I love Chicago, but we don't have a reverse commute. I'd focus on what you enjoy doing and what is critical to you - proximity to friends and family? Good and drink scene? Outdoor activities? Type of work available if you leave consulting? Weather? The cities/areas you listed are all great and we all have an opinion. You have to prioritize what is important to you.
SD based female here... Based on what you are saying, you are destined to be a westie for sure! SD would meet all of your outdoorsy needs from coast to mountains and everything in between. My weekend beach yoga is everything... Its a much smaller, laid back city and while us intellectuals are here, we are admittedly harder to find than in other places. If thats themost important thing to you... SF may be a better fit. Regardless, anywhere in CA, get the right comp as housing is expensive (not bay area crazy here though), taxes are way higher and the cost of gas and insurance is double other parts of the country. Is it worth it? Hell yes! But, as a somewhat recent transplant myself, have your eyes wide open! As for dating, lots of sexy sailors and marines all over... Good quality men that know how to treat women. And if thats not your thing lots of other dateable men to be found - meetups are a BIG thing here.
No to chi suburbs IMO
Always yes to San Diego.
Out of those, Bay Area for sure, it's beautiful, better work life balance, and larger number of intriguing/innovative people. Make sure your comp is enough.
NY and CHI burns are pretty uninspiring compared to the city proper. Go for SD or Bay Area. LA is just OK. Consider Seattle or Portland OR as well. Second the suggestion to look at Denver, Austin might also be a sleeper candidate.
No financial constraints? Bay all day.
Never Florida! This is coming from a Floridian, there is a reason I moved to DC and have made many many x Floridian friends. Bay if your into tech, SD if you love outdoors/beach/surfing, chi if you like winter. NYC if you like eveything
Southern California won't stimulate you intellectually. The suburbs, anywhere, won't offer what you're looking for either. This sounds like a decision between the Bay Area and NYC.
Seems like manager1 gave the least practical inputs .. @dating with sexy sailors. BTW why do you want to leave NYC?
Based on options you listed, I would say San Diego followed by SF. One additional thought: based on your interests, have you thought about Denver?
Socially, how do you like to spend your time?
And if you marry a tech startup guy i expect an update. Lol
EY1, I like being surrounded by smart ppl. NYers are exceptionally global, and that's probably most important.
So: 40% outdoor activities, 20% yoga and gym classes; 15% socializing with likeminded ppl; and 5% museums/galleries.
I'm pretty outdoorsy - paddleboard, hike;
Having yoga and dance classes nearby is key;
Love art and culture, but not a have to;
I'm beyond the go out and drink and party scene, but I still like to once a while - good cocktails, beer, wine make me happy 1 a month - good peeps, good music...into all kinds of music - EDM, modern folk, etc., but don't really care to go clubbing more than 2 times a year.
I also like going to lectures and self improvement classes.
If you are 40% outsorsey, then gf sounds like west coast is your calling. You want to be somewhere warmer where the weather will let you do this throughout the year.
Go to Seattle! Easy access to nature and lots of intelligent techies. Good cheap food and no state income tax.
Otherwise Bay Area is the same but 2x cost. :)
D3, not a ton of Med Device in Seattle. Plus, I suffer from seasonal depression, not sure I could take the rain.
Bay Area's the bomb, there's a reason why its expensive - because everyone wants to live here! No sexy sailors but some adorable geeks, bit less muscular and bit smarter - whatever floats your boat (ha!)