{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "🐠sisters, need some advice. Project unexpected got cut last Friday and I’m on a visa. All of sudden I’m in fear of furlough cause I don’t have a way to stay or come back as visitor right away (cont.)", "post_id": "5e8bf43db02ff2001b184d5a", "reply_count": 11, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

🐠sisters, need some advice. Project unexpected got cut last Friday and I’m on a visa. All of sudden I’m in fear of furlough cause I don’t have a way to stay or come back as visitor right away (cont.)

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I was on an H1B during the financial crisis which was pretty bad. By the time it was over, three quarters of my network were laid off. I think your boyfriend is right, you should try not to worry about things you cannot control. Enjoy the learning experience. If you get furloughed or laid off, you can go back home, take stock and decide next steps. Also, it sounds like your boyfriend is being supportive and caring. I am not sure it is fair to him or you to question the relationship. He talked to you, provided some good advice. Just go with the flow and trust the universe. It will turn out fine either way. Worrying is only make you feel worse.

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Life has a way of turning out fine and sometimes what appears like a major setback turns out to be a blessing. Trust yourself and your hard work, count your blessings and go with the flow. You have your education, experience. your values, people that love you and your health. These are things that matter. All will be fine. Good luck and a very big hug!

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You cannot control it if that happens. But sounds like your house is in order and it would not be for performance. Absolutely have ears and eyes out, that’s critical. But if you’ve done what you can, then you know you’ll land quicker because you’re a catch. Can you leverage your network & reachout to a trusted mentor or counselor and explain the urgency issue?

Respectively sounds like your bf is perhaps trivializing your feelings which isn’t fair to you. Talking things out with someone is a huge benefit of relationships. I don’t have all the specifics here but sounds like he wasn’t the sounding board or support you were hoping for. I would give him some time and approach the topic again once you’ve had time to re-evaluate how you feel about his initial response. I find when I’m trying to express stress or need for affirmation virtually, that’s hard for me to get across without the visual cues, so it’s something consulting life has made my partner and I work on more.

Best of luck to you! You’re between two great places, and clearly your current firm liked you enough to bring you here so you must be talented.

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Having the self awareness is key. Me too. Best of luck!

Sorry to hear that!! You’re on H1-B? Can’t you do a transfer once you find a new gig? I know it might be hard in these times...

Going to start looking as well. It’s just tough timing. I’d never have a thought of being laid off either if it’s not under the current circumstances

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Talked to my boyfriend who is currently LD in Europe about how scared I am. He says that I’m first of all over-reacting that even if furlough happens, they’d let low performers go first round. And that I worry too much; don’t worry about things I can’t control; just deal with them as they happen. But I just have no backup plan and really need some support. I went through a pretty emotionally rough weekend.

Today I messaged them later called him asking if he was going to check in on me. He was like sure but he’d talked to me for an hour yesterday already, and he has nothing to say. So we talked for like ~10 minutes.

After we hang up, I texted and said i know that I’m in a bit of a hyper care mode but really need him to be supportive for the next a while. And he said ‘just a few days’.

Idk what to do. I feel I really need the emotional support but I am also seriously questioning the relationship

Thanks for reading my long winded post

I dont know how the visa stuff works and if it’s genuinely something you need to be worried about vs. are maybe over worried - nonetheless - I feel like he should be more supportive especially when everyone is tense and scared right now. I’m sorry I can understand you needing the extra emotional support right now.

Don’t make any decisions out of haste, because in the moment, particularly during a stressful time, we tend to have high expectations of others. Think about this and keep it in mind and when things settle address this and address how he handled things.

As long as he wasn’t dismissive towards you, but only you know best how he made you feel. The person you’re with should comfort you and make you feel better.

Don’t overthink it, that’s my advice. Worst case scenario, and say you got laid off, it’s not the end of the world!!! It’s not just the USA that have jobs. Maybe it would be an opportunity for you to explore other options or, find a job closer to your family if that would make you happier. My motto is, if a door closes, better doors will open soon

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