{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Sitting in my hotel room crying, trying to get over a breakup that’s a few days old and suffered because i travel for work, 500 miles from any of my friends...starting to think I can’t do this job.", "post_id": "5b57eb9911adf7001370e8eb", "reply_count": 64, "vote_count": 42, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting" }

Sitting in my hotel room crying, trying to get over a breakup that’s a few days old and suffered because i travel for work, 500 miles from any of my friends...starting to think I can’t do this job.

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OP- your goal should be to look for someone who wants to be with you despite what life throws at you. Today it may be Consulting travel. Tomorrow something else. A true partner is in it for the long haul. The goal is that you both are together as a team and you handle any situation or difficulties that arise, together in the best option possible. If this person couldn’t stick it out now, when you are both young and single, they wouldn’t have survived the future. So congratulations on your breakup, better now than getting divorced. And go look for the right soulmate. When you find them and have that kind of support, you’ll never understand why ppl accept anything less and you will forever strive to do your part in the relationship too. Hubby and I have personally been through hell and back and survived things that most marriages wouldn’t have. This team mentality is our mantra. We are a team. Everything else in the world is the variable

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OP when I started out in investment banking I experienced many periods of darkness and self doubt. My relationship struggled as my girlfriend made several weekend trips to visit me and I never even made it out of the office back to my apt where she was hanging out. Alone. When things ended I was exhausted and mentally tapped out and and I just obliterated my work phone (didn’t have cell phones yet). My analyst class colleagues were going thru similar things and we all confided in one another. One person took me out for a beer while the others found a replacement phone and put things back to normal. Point being I would not have made it thru my first job - with all the work and relationship and life stress - without my peers to confide in. My college friends had no idea the stress I was under so they didn’t get it. But my new work friends did. While your situation is unique to you, many of us have been there. You’re not weak for feeling real emotions and having real struggles. With the support of your peers you will get thru this, regardless of whether you ultimately stick it out or leave.

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Its just immediate emotion. 3 months down the road you will be laughing about crying over this person. Take the time if you need it to cry but just relax. You will be fine in no time. Dont let this person question your ability on whether you can do this job. Just remember there are people fighting for their lives right now, life isnt so bad over a break up. Hope all gets better.

likeuplifting

OP, you’ve got this ❤️ don’t be afraid to take a personal day or so as well in the upcoming days - cite a personal emergency and give your team some advance notice where possible. I think it’s difficult to take that step back but it’s better for your sanity and work if you find space to take some time for yourself. Your breakup doesn’t mean anything in regards to your ability to do the job - and well. Stay strong and don’t forget that YOU are in full control of what and how YOU do. Hugs ❤️

likeuplifting

Is it the job or the breakup? We’ve all been there. Failing at your job won’t make you feel better - kicking ass at it will help. That’ll be a huge sense of accomplishment when you look back to this time of your life

likehelpful

Ranjith dgaf ^^^ what up jangy???

likefunny

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ranjithjangala

likefunnyhelpful

OP - when you eventually find The One, you’ll be glad all the others didn’t work out. Take it from me. 6 years together, married for 4+ and we’ve yet to be home together every night for a week straight The longest time we spent together was our honeymoon. But we are soulmates and he’s hella supportive. I fly cross country so it’s no joke cuz I leave Sunday morning at 9am and with the time difference we barely talk. You’ll be fine.

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I’m sorry to hear, OP. Where do you live and fly out to every week? Don’t be disheartened. Everything is meant to be. Happy to chat, if you’d like a shoulder to lean on. Well aware of the challenges of this job Feel free to send me a msg. Sending positive vibes to you!

likeupliftingsmart

Thanks everyone 💕 it was a really hard night but I wrote down everything I was feeling this morning and took time to reflect on the whole story of my relationship...and work was just a factor. I do think my mental health has suffered considerably since starting this job and that in turn did negatively impact my relationship, so for the sake of my own health and wellness, I think I need to re-evaluate my priorities and ambition. No one tells you how hard your first job really is and how much you will be forced to grow and change as a person. To all those who are where I am right now (female male and everything in-between) sending massive hugs!

likeuplifting

Everyone here is assuming that the relationship didn’t work because your partner couldn’t handle your travel, but maybe you’re also not getting what you need/want out of your relationships in a travel heavy job. Take some time for self care (ice cream, spa day, gym time, whatever) then reflect on what you want out of your relationships and your career and where those intersect - realizing you’d prefer 9-5 is not failure it’s self-realization or maybe you realize past the mourning phase that consulting is the best options for your career growth and personal development and you deserve someone more supportive

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You've got this OP! It's totally okay to feel this way, especially when it's so fresh. Jumping back into work like everything is fine when it's not is super tough. I've been there. Don't underestimate your resilience and ability to come out on the other side stronger and more kick-ass than ever. Also sending good vibes ❤️

likeuplifting

You can do it! I started in consulting at a different firm and quit and went to industry for a few years because I was traveling alone, no friends on project, and no friends in city. I could only eat so many meals by myself and work all night. Prioritize your friends when you’re home, and get plugged in where you are. Find a gym or workout class where you can socialize, try to socialize with your team. Your significant other should support what you do - mine is a teacher and giggles at offshore calls, and enjoys ruling the house while I’m gone. It’s a tough life to get used to, and a lot of people get lonely pangs.

likeupliftingsmart

We are a different class of people and not everyone gets what we do, why we do and what drives us. If they do not get you, u are better off without them. It’s an opportunity to find someone who gets u. Never question your ability. Or be judged by someone. If u reach out there is plenty of help out there to get u thru this. It will pass. Give it time and stay strong

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Screw em. They were never going to understand or accept your job. You are better off knowing that now. Similar thing happened to me and it was the best thing ever. It just took time to gain perspective.

likehelpful

90's play list, Alanis Morissette

likefunny

That’s why I make it a point to only take local projects, to be home for my marriage, kids and parents. Don’t be afraid to really prioritize what matters to you! Work will always be work but losing close family and friends is not worth it. I have 2 girlfriends that unfortunately made a conscious effort to be local only after they lost their marriages. So my advice to you is be true to what is important to you, unless you find an awesome partner or spouse that will support you being gone all the time.

likeupliftinghelpful

The pain will go away but you’ll still be a badass

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EY4 should D3 say you will be doomed. The matter of fact is that she will be fine, with some time, maybe wine, just realizing I am in a rhyme am I vanilla ice or shyne, cant stop wont stop

likefunny

You got this darling . Hang in there. You’re beautiful inside and out and you deserve way more than what you’ve received to day. You will him/her so much when you find them. All these things won’t be relevant anymore. You’ll wake up everyweekend next to them, and you’ll figure out why it didn’t work out with anyone else. They will love you more than life even when you don’t think you deserve it, and tell you that you’re the best person in the world even if aren’t. Wait it out darling it’ll only get better. Work hard,create an identity for yourself and you’ll find someone who compliments you

likeuplifting

What city are you in? There are many friends out there!

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HahahahaHahahaha @ Consultant1. You’re funny AF.

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