{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "So, a boy is coming to visit me (we were introduced in an arranged marriage scenario) and I’m not sure what’s expected. We’ve texted for ~2 months and spoken on the phone a few times. Any advice? \n\nEven if it does / doesn’t work out I would like him to have a nice time, and ideally not sabotage myself.", "post_id": "610775b121988e0028d2f9a4", "reply_count": 12, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "58f8108c753e990016608a0b", "bowl_name": "Desi Consultants" }

So, a boy is coming to visit me (we were introduced in an arranged marriage scenario) and I’m not sure what’s expected. We’ve texted for ~2 months and spoken on the phone a few times. Any advice? Even if it does / doesn’t work out I would like him to have a nice time, and ideally not sabotage myself.

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Oh ‘boy’!😃😄 haha reminds me of this scene

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Be yourself and give him a fair chance. People jump to conclusions, but everyone is different and maybe he takes a while to open up vs opens up super quickly. While meeting people, I realized people can have different personalities in person. Some people just are more talkative via text vs some aren't and would rather have a face to face conversation. Just try to enjoy the process and not feel the pressure. Good luck 😊

likehelpful

Glad I could help! :)

Just meet him like you meet any other friend. Spend a day or two together. Try to roam around, eat together, get some coffee together, go to bowling or indoor golfing etc. whatever works best for both of you. I don’t think that both of you need to take any special efforts. Just let the conversation unfold.

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Hopefully he is a "man" if you're considering marriage. Like others said - just treat it like any other date but on steroids like your life depends on it... Kidding, but not really!

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My friends approach to the process was treat every interaction like an Interview and constantly try to find problems. It ended up working for him! I’m going to approach you’re taking - texting / talking and the meeting up. I found that after getting to know someone, it is useful to get down to key questions: Where do you see yourself, do you want kids, are you going back to school, thoughts on the female working, what is the role of the female in the males house (I.e. how were you raised/ how do your parents handle work). I also asked the question: what concerns do you have about me For my in person meetings I’ve tried to have a couple food locations where we could sit and talk. I also created a site seeing tour I could take them on through my city. I used this to learn interests

funny

Lol, good luck! While this approach may have worked in the past, any self respecting guy is going to withdraw his “application”. Like someone else said on this chain, just be a person. Talk and ask engaging open ended questions. See if there’s chemistry and basic alignment. Rest can be worked out

Arrey tum Kehna kya chahte ho…

Just be yourself and trust your instincts

When either of you bring up the question “why are you interested in getting married” or “what are you looking for”, don’t say “my parents want me to get married” or “it’s about time”. It’s a sure fire way to kill any and all “romance” in the moment. Be an adult with an EQ and you will be fine!

Good luck 😊

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