Women In Consulting

So I have a baby. Take off 4.5 months. Within the next year, I’m am Pregnant again.Manager makes a comment on how this isn’t good timing and could affect my job. So do I notify HR? If I get fired for

likehelpful
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I would call him out on it. Bob, I just wanted to let you know that the comment you made to me about my pregnancy being inconvenient was not appropriate. I am not sure if you meant it to come off the way you did, but I wanted to let you know so you’re aware if you have to deal with any pregnant women in the future. Then I would reach out to your partner and HR. I would do it via phone first. I wanted to let you know about the conversation I had with Bob. He said... . This made me extremely uncomfortable and uncertain about my future here, which is why I wanted to reach out. I feel I am a strong contributor to the team and where as I understand that being out of the field is challenging, I have always appreciated our company’s support of working mothers. However I am very concerned and want to make sure I shouldn’t be worried that this will put me at a disadvantage. This is where they will both reassure you it is not. Let them talk. Then add I did speak to him about this and told him it was inappropriate. After that, I would send both an email (at the same time). Partner and HR, I appreciate your time today to discuss the incident where a comment was made about appropriateness and frequency of my pregnancy. I feel much more comfortable after discussing this with you and really appreciate the support. Thank you. This way, you maturely address it with everyone and create a trail of documentation, should you need it. I don’t think you will - it would be a lawsuit waiting to happen. I am sure the comment upset you. Shake it off. Stupid and insensitive people everywhere. You will do great now and after you have the baby. Congratulations and good luck!

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This makes me sick. And men wonder why we take off wedding rings in interviews and don’t answer questions about wanting to start a family, I’m so sorry OP. Document with HR, and speak to a mentor or someone senior with kids and one more thing....please please do NOT apologize!!

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Yes please! Let HR know and I would say have it in an email somehow.

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P1- I definitely just screenshot that message! Thank you for a reference point to begin this conversation!! Thank you all for the responses. I’m going to keep working and keep growing my family as I see fit, as well.

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I’d document it with HR for sure

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Document with HR in case something happpens!

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Definitely document with HR. Two other considerations: #1 Are your metrics adjusted to account for leave? I know one PPD at Deloitte whose metrics were not, and they used missed metrics as a basis for buying her out of the firm. (Who knows is there was something else, but that even this was the party line is terrifying.) #2 perhaps she/he just meant that ~9 months out of the game was 9 months out of the game. Objectively, yes, it is putting you back almost a year in experience - those are 9 months you weren’t gaining experience, building relationships, and selling work. If you were on a set timeline or track (or even in a peer start group), that will affect it. It certainly doesn’t warrant termination, but it could “set you back,” whatever that means for your next step that would be based on experience/performance at your career stage.

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Just to add after reading some of the comments. Where as normally, I would advise giving an individual a benefit of the doubt, and only escalating to Partner and HR if there’s a pattern, this is not one of those situations. OP is about to go on leave for several months and will have no opportunity to protect herself further. It is possible to be let go while you’re on maternity leave. So I stand by my advice - I would escalate and I would have a trail of that escalation. You do not need to be dramatic or emotional - state the facts, state you’ve addressed it with the person who said it but get reassurance that your leadership and HR are on the same page. In 95% of cases, it is an idiot making these comments and it means nothing, but don’t mess around with the 5%.

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likeuplifting
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can’t believe we are going backwards in time.. OP - talk to HR

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This is some pure BS.. please talk to your HR, do men take off for making women pregnant ? Huh!

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Wow OP! I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I agree you should notify HR in an email and then schedule a follow-up call to discuss. This manager has no business saying this and could be fired for representing the company this way (re: active discrimination). HR should do an investigation and if manager isn’t fired she/he should at least be severely reprimanded. Don’t let this go OP. You are not in the wrong here.

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... being pregnant too often apparently, what can I do??

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Just sent you a direct message (still learning fishbowl so hopefully you got it), I work at IBM too and will connect you to the correct HR person. This is not okay and not tolerated. Sadly it can sometimes be tricky to figure out who to go to (which is probably why you posted here)

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I like what P1 said but I’d leave off the joint email after. You will have made your point already and the email is then overkill and could come off overly aggressive. But yeah wow that is some seriously inappropriate behavior

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SC2 cool so women should be okay with being penalized for being pregnant? What are you suggesting OP do? Where is your comment coming from (did you experience this?). as someone who wants to have a baby in the near future I am rattled by your comment.

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One Managers comment, while upsetting, has nothing to do with company policy. I would send him the note and also send to counselor and engagement P. The P could make the point to M without involving HR too unless you think this person deserves more than a direct warning - based on behavior in other circumstances too.

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Um, you work at IBM. They’re known for letting protected class people go like all the workers over 40 they laid off. If you tell HR, they’re going to lay you off and side with their director. They’ll come up with a paper trail about how suddenly nothing you do is good anymore and your performance sucks and negatively affects the firm, then you’re out

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Yup my sister works there and that’s what they did

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Admire your courage OP!!

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