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Additional Posts in Addiction & Sobriety
4 Years Yesterday!
One day at a time.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-step_program
There are many ways to find freedom from addiction; this is the path that has worked for me and countless others.
I couldn’t imagine a life without my addiction (alcohol), and I also couldn’t image life continuing to live in my addiction. 3.5+ years of sobriety later, I can confirm that the former is much preferable to the latter. I couldn’t do it alone, and I’m glad I don’t have to.
Daily Reflections Recurring Post
January 18, 2021
WOULD A DRINK HELP?
By going back in our own drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 23
Click link for today’s full reading: https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/daily-reflection
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Therapy. In particular, a therapist who specializes in or at least has experience with addiction. In my experience, a lot of people considering sobriety get scared off by the AA stuff.
You will need to want to stop in order to make it work. AA and hearing the stories of those who hit rock bottom might help you want it. But you do have to want it. Good luck to you.
This. The rooms of AA are great for hearing the stories of others and finding hope, but they aren’t the “solution” for everyone. Therapy is a huge help and there are many sobriety-focused groups and communities that have sprung up in the past few years, particularly online. Plugging into a sober community is important, in my experience, to rebuilding a life without alcohol.
I feel this. I went through it too. I did AA for about 6 months. It took me time to work through step 6. I took my time bc I knew it wasn’t a race.
I relapsed. Called my sponsor for support and help and got nothing. The next day she told me I needed to find a sponsor closer to where I lived. I poured myself into AA and then didn’t get the support I needed. This is where therapy is SO important. You can’t rely on others / other drunks to get the help you need. It’s good for community, but they can’t help you through the trama you aren’t coping with in a healthy way. I know AA works for many, it didn’t for me. I would still try it bc it did get me going on getting sober. Then figure out what you’re cup of tea is, and more importantly, see a therapist to help you process what is making you drink the way you do.
Im over a year sober. I never finished the 12 steps and some of my family resents me for it. Know that there isn’t a formula to get sober, it’s your story and you can build your own recovery for what you need.
I wish you all the best!
I want to add, I am a GREAT teacher. I will brag, I’m good at my job. There is this idea that teachers aren’t people, and man… am I a PERSON. Ive struggled. Ive battled. Ive fought. And I’ve been a stronger person for my students because of it. One thing I never let happen was letting alcohol get in the way of doing my job and helping my kids. I saw it coming, I knew it was next. That’s honestly one of the main reasons why I went to therapy and got sober, my students deserved the best part of me.
Being a teacher shouldn’t dictate your life… but it changed mine. Being a teacher made me get help because I love my kids.
Bowl Leader
I looooooooooved the feeling of being drunk. What I didn’t love were the hangovers, the blackouts, the crashed cars, the nights in jail and hospitals, the disappointed friends and family members, and the infidelity.
If it weren’t for those pesky consequences drinking would be amazing. Unfortunately, as an alcoholic, I can not guarantee that I won’t wreak havoc on myself and those around me once I start drinking. And more often than not I am left in a state of pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. Thankfully, I too found recovery in the rooms of AA and I love it.
Alcoholism takes us a to a very lonely place. Even when I was around people I never felt a true connection, I never felt like I fit in, and I was generally uncomfortable in my own skin. In recovery I’ve found acceptance and fellowship and something more.
The key to recovery is to find it before you end up in prison, in a mental hospital, or die. Your bottom can always be lower, or it can be where you’re at now if you choose to put down the shovel and stop digging.
Finally, this reminds me of a spot in the AA Big Book:
Thanks everyone. My drinking is definitely self-medication to deal with life. Significant traumas from younger years, stress from family and work, kids, etc etc. I feel like it’s my way to escape. I never drink before or during work, I try to only drink every other day, but I often drink alone and I always drink to excess. I can’t stop once I start, until it’s gone or I need to sleep.
I’ve been to a counselor just a few times. Never told my spouse and didn’t use insurance so it wasn’t sustainable from a cost perspective. I don’t think I’m even close to rock bottom but who knows?
I wish I drank less but I don’t feel ready to give it up.
You don’t have to hit rock bottom before you quit so stop waiting for it before you make a move.
What do you think it would take to get you to feel like you are ready? What negative impact would be your final straw?
Until you want it, nothing will change. It sounds like you want to want to stop but unfortunately this is a disease that convinces us we can keep going, sometimes until it’s too late. I know for me I had to be pretty beat up and desperate before I could really stop and stay stopped.
High bottom drunk here that used alcohol and drugs to escape daily living the thing I heard in the halls of AA that got me going was " try not drinking or drugging for 90 days if you don't like it we will gladly refund your misery" that and many others things and I stand here today over 35 years clean and sober. Give it a shot what do you got to lose?
If you’re willing to give sobriety a try, might be worthwhile to see if life sober might be better than life drunk. Many paths to try, you’ll get lots of opinions on that. Lots of people here are willing to help if you want it.
I appreciate everyone taking the time to post with your experiences. I definitely feel much better when I don’t drink and could definitely stand to lose a few pounds.
What exactly did you do when you were thinking about pouring a drink? Call your sponsor? Hit the treadmill? Pray? I know I need to find what works for me but looking for ideas of how to fill that time, and more importantly, replace the urge with something else.
Call a program buddy or friend. Or even just text. When I get those urges in my head, they say “sunshine is the best disinfectant” and sharing that urge with someone else goes a long way in releasing it’s power. I also just try to get up and move and go do something else (like a walk). It helps disrupt that pathway and gives me sometime to breathe before I make a stupid decision.
Bowl Leader
What I do and what works for me:
- Pray (my go-to when I’m confronted with alcohol or drinking thoughts: “Higher Power, please keep me sober”)
- Call sponsor or friend in the program
- Read AA literature (sometimes I’ll flip open the Big Book to a random page and more often than not it’s exactly what I needed to read)
- Go to a meeting
- Meditate
- Getting outside
- Just go to sleep
- Any distraction that is not drinking; sometimes they aren’t healthy or wise, like over-eating or buying stuff I don’t need, but either of those are infinity better than a single drink.
There’s actually a book called Living Sober; it’s pretty good and has all sorts of practical advice.
Can you describe your current drinking habits?