So, I’m an ambitious woman in the consulting world. I do my work really well and have great reputation but when I try to talk with my coach or folks around that are not as ambitious, sort of try to “calm” me down and give me life lessons and ask me to take it slow. I obviously get super annoyed but don’t show it. How can I change this ? Should I change this coach?

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Ideally your coach should be someone whose values align with yours and if their advice doesn’t resonate with you it might make sense to switch coaches. However, you need to think broader - I haven’t been at Deloitte for a while now but iirc your coach is in charge of your performance reviews and promotions right? If your coach is influential at the firm and is able to pull for you, you might want to stick with them for that aspect, and overlook the incompatibility of their advice for you. You can always search for more informal mentors for advice.

likehelpful

Agreed. The coach is influential but don’t think they were able to swing many votes the past 2 years for me. I do think I’d have to work for my own recognition/visibility since they didn’t do that for me

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Is it possible that there is feedback in there that you are not hearing? What I am wondering is whether the coaches are seeing a lack of experience and are wanting you to get some of that before you move on the the next level.

We’ve had those discussions in performance reviews and a particular phrase comes to mind: “she needs to marinate a bit longer.” In consulting, there are a lot of judgment calls and decisions that need to me made as you move up the ladder. Those become easier as you gain experience and see different engagements and issues. I understand wanting to race ahead and feeling like you have a grasp of what you need to do, but there is no substitute for time spent gaining actual experience in your field.

likesmart

I see your point, but a good coach would be voicing these shortcomings head on, not beating around the bush.

likesmart

I've been in that position and had to take the time to explain to me coach - why I was pushing so hard RIGHT NOW -
I had to explain that I don't have kids, no boyfriend and that I had time and energy NOW to learn and grow.
Once I painted the picture, my coach shifted from - slow down - to - what did you learn on this project...How are you looking to grow.. - My coach was also able to better guide me afterwards.

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Yea. Exactly my point too. I’m in my 30s but the above has exactly been my motto.

Just getting a little annoyed at how people calm down ambition and speak from their perspective of “life is long. There’s no need to hurry now”

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CHANGE YOUR COACH!!! I worked at Deloitte and had an amazing coach. I’d come from a smaller firm as a manager w 6YOE total - I was adamant I wanted to make SM ASAP and she was amazing and supportive like ‘hell yes you should do this, I wish I’d spoken up because I did an extra lap at manager because I didn’t.’ You need someone like that in your corner. Do not let anyone stifle your ambition because it does not align with their own ideas of happiness / success.

likehelpful

That is frustrating. Do you know someone who you think would be a better coach and have the capacity to take you on as a mentee? How long have you been at Deloitte? I was in a national group and I was in a MCOL city, so there were not many people from my industry group in my local office (they were mostly out of NYC/LA). One thing my coach recommended that was helpful was to just proactively set up calls w other Ms, SMs and PPMDs in the group. I’d schedule 1 a week and that way I at least knew of everyone else in management in the group after maybe 6 months. This helped me have more opportunities for projects. If you’ve been there a couple years you may already know everyone, but if not use your new manager position as a reason to reach out now.

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Does your coach work for Deloitte?
I mean, if it’s a coach you pay, I would expect he/she to align with your goals and to explain the strategy behind “take it slow” approach. There could be several strategies behind it.

likesmart

What level are you OP?

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That’s helpful context. If this is your first year as a manager, then focus on learning everything you can about how to be an amazing manager first. I would not talk about promotion to SM until next year. I’ve experienced exactly what you had my entire career, and when you come off as too ‘rushed’, others perceive you as not mature enough (e.g. title chasing) instead of just ambitious, which can hurt you instead of help you.

likehelpful

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