{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "So I’m pregnant and going to get an abortion (any pregnancy for me is incredibly high risk - 25+% chance I wouldn’t survive - not that any other reason for an abortion is invalid either). I’m not sure if I should tell the guy I am hooking up with. I feel like he should know. That being said I don’t need to send him down a spiral. His ex of 4 years had a late term abortion without telling him and told him when he found her in bed with his really good friend. He’s finally improving psychologically", "post_id": "5fcaf5fe6d08e9002439be74", "reply_count": 25, "vote_count": 8, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

So I’m pregnant and going to get an abortion (any pregnancy for me is incredibly high risk - 25+% chance I wouldn’t survive - not that any other reason for an abortion is invalid either). I’m not sure if I should tell the guy I am hooking up with. I feel like he should know. That being said I don’t need to send him down a spiral. His ex of 4 years had a late term abortion without telling him and told him when he found her in bed with his really good friend. He’s finally improving psychologically

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I think you should probably tell him since I'm guessing part of the problem was how completely his trust was broken by the ex. Regardless of what he says, it's your decision to get an abortion or not. Sorry to say, but it's not your problem how well he can handle it.

like

If pregnancy is so high risk, maybe also talk about getting your tubes tied or other permanent solutions so this doesn’t happen again.

like

Agree SC2.

like

What’s your relationship with the father? You said hookup so it doesn’t sound all that serious? In that case if abortions already trigger him and your relationship with each other is very low stakes id just not say.. might be a bad call but it is definitely the more easier route

like

I think A1’s advice here is spot on. If you want to continue a relationship with him, you gotta tell him. But if you’re not sure about him, I think the kind thing to do would be to skip telling him and move on.

I personally wouldn't. You've made the decision already, and you described him as a guy you're hooking up with, not your SO, so I don't think anything good will come of it.

like

Whatever you decide, I’m guessing this isn’t easy for you either. I hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself too 💕

likehelpful

I would tell him based on your comment about the potential more serious relationship. Does he know you have this medical condition? If you do enter a serious relationship he would need to know that any future accidental pregnancy would end in an abortion and if that’s something he is okay with. Hopeful he will understand this is different but I think he deserved all that info going into something serious.

like

Yeah he knows. We’ve had conversations about how I at this point can get pregnant but can’t have kids. He knows theoretically this is what would happen if I got pregnant but this is moving from theoretical to reality.

like

I’d probably tell him based on what you’ve mentioned above.

like

I actually read this to my husband and asked him. I was curious if he were in this situation would he want to know. Both of us agreed that we likely wouldn’t say anything. No positive would come of it.

like

OP, I mean if you’re not in a serious relationship with him would you actually want him involved and I only say this because his mental health sounds super fragile. You’ve made up your mind to go ahead with the abortion (which is absolutely your choice), so if I were you i wouldn’t get him involved Sometimes I’ve realized that hiding certain things from ppl for their welfare is better than hurting them in their face but that’s just my approach

like

The way I see you reminding him of the prior situation is by not telling him. Telling him now brings him into this early on. I think it would extend trust to you rather than being that heartbreak he experienced before. I’m not a guy, so maybe I’m off here, but I think I’d want to know.

like

Do you think he’s going to be supportive? Or is he going to try and manipulate you to change your mind? If you think he’s going to be supportive AND won’t hold any kind of resentment against you in the future for choosing this option, then yes. Otherwise nope.

like

No. don't tell him. it seems like a trigger event for him, which might add to all the issues you're dealing with. So, no.

My husband says to tell him, he might lose it but he has the true and now you two know if you have a future, because he might want kids later.

Related Posts

Does Monday morning 8 am flight rituals turn you into a baby hater (on a plane?)

like

Getting back to the travel is like going for a new job. Can't believe I left my child behind again.

like

When my maternity leave is the only "real" vacation I've had in years

like

Pandora on my drive back home after 13 hours in the office - "All I wanna do is drive home to you, baby I'm faded". Recently broken up. Also, going home to a douche roommate. Oh, the cruelty! 🙁

like

When you are staff and your seniors review everything you do, change a tiny bit, and take as if they did it to present to others, feels like a surrogate mother.

like

Child on my flight playing a learning game with no head phones. "Touch the h... Awesome!" Once we're in the air it will be "touch that Q one more time and I'm breaking your game"

like

If I sponsor a child for $1 a day, can I take 6 months off work? Serious replies only, please!

like

When your Uber from LGA smells like baby powder and lavender. I guess this is better than it smelling like curry.

like

For Deloitte, they cut the Adopt-An-Alumni and Culture Cash budgets. Anyone else nervous about their job security??

like

Which work-paper is "your baby"

like

Made this scotch drink at home, mother effer is it strong.

like

"Don't you want me baby" by The Human League is a fucked up song. Dude needs to step back. #Sunday80s #ShowerKaraoke

like

After months on fishbowl, what have I learned? Accenture and Deloitte are sexually deprived, KPMG is the red headed step child, we all LOVE to bitch about life and talk about SPG points. What else?

like

Main downside of consulting: not being able to adopt a puppy

like

In our meeting today..."Maybe you guys could tone down the sarcasm a bit..." Response from Staff: "There's no kill switch for awesome." That kid has success written all over him.

like

EY now offering 16 weeks paid maternity leave. Glad I waited 👶🏽👶🏽👶🏽

like

After busy season - people leave or people get pregnant

like

I have a food baby and all I want to do is 😴💤

like

How long do you wait to tell the mother of the child kicking your seat constantly to make their kid stop. I want to physically throw this kid off the plane mid flight.

like

"Hey baby how you doin?" says everyone to anyone in Louisiana.

like

Additional Posts

My salary is 95k, 10% in 401k, save $1500 a month, renting, and single. I feel financially middle class despite being at least in the 80th percentile. Seems really hard to achieve the american dream.

like

Hi everyone - I’m one of the bowl leaders, and I’m disappointed to see so much negativity, and frankly, racist and discriminatory tones. I want to make a request that we all remain civil and refrain from personal attacks and stereotyping. Let’s please use this as a forum to engage professionally and come together around our group’s unique challenges in the workplace.

likefunnyhelpful

Hey fishes, hope u are all fine. Recently I got selected in EPAM Anywhere with the offer 24 LPA but the only concern is about bench policy. Is there any option to get same fixed salary even on bench?

like

Dear All, It's being 10 yrs I'm trying to be in field of data science,did couple of projects too but in end I got work of data cleaning, reporting or vba. Now I'm feeling my skills are in data analytics only but I want to be back with a bang in Data science field could anyone please help.

like

To get promotion in milestone year, do we need to have ONL flag ticked for all the snapshots of the performance year?

like

How is data science work in health insurance?

likehelpfulfunny
like

I feel like my relationship with my boss has grown more distant during WFH. I'd love to get some feedback on how to maintain communication in a remote setting.

like

I don’t know who needs to hear this but: you are doing AMAZING....hang in there...everything will be okay...you are a worthy human being who is so much more than their job! Breath. Life is so short.

likeupliftingsmarthelpful

Any recommendations for apps where I can sell furniture besides FB marketplace and OfferUp?

like

Reminder to the visitors in this bowl: you are that, a visitor. Respect the space or leave. This app is toxic enough without you bringing that coronavirus bowl energy in here. Thank you.

likeupliftinghelpfulfunny

Hi all, I’m having a first interview with a case study in FDD. Got financials & background of the company. What preliminary analysis should I do before getting questions during the interview ? I’m coming from audit so I don’t know what to expect

like

I scheduled my PTO for May months ago. I'm now nervously taking it in the middle of a hard audit that was scheduled in March. I feel so anxious as I know my work will be crazy when I'm back. Should I leave audit? I just feel I have too many anxious moments that comprise my mental health.

Got offer letter from tcs. The PF mentiined in salary structure under retrials.... is it the employee contribution or emploers contribution??

like

I sent out evites to my kids party (invited the entire class) but no one RSVP’ed, when should I follow up? I did check with a couple of them beforehand who said can make it (but they also haven’t confirmed via evite). Kind of getting worried no one would show :(

like

Burning bridges is frowned upon but, for the 'bowl: what are some of the "best" (🔥🔥) ways you've seen consultants exit a firm?

like

Any Orthodox Christians here? If so, which jurisdiction (OCA, GOAA, MP/ROCOR, Antiochian, Coptic, Serbian, Ukrainian, etc)? What city?

like

Hello everyone, What is the average yearly hike in Nagarro and what are the factors on which it is based on? And do we get any bonus apart from allocation bonus.

like

Today is National Dog Mom’s Day! ❤️🐶🐾

Post Photo
likeuplifting

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal