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I never had enough milk for any of my kids. Tried everything under the Sun and after a few months just threw in the towel. I think there is way too much pressure on moms to breastfeed. It’s great when you produce a lot and it works but I always felt like a failure when I would spend hours pumping and nursing and had nothing to show for it. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Formula is perfectly fine.
Same
I nurse and almost never pump. If I had to pump, honestly I’d quit bf. I have an aversion to pumping for whatever reason. But I’m fortunate to have a nanny and I wfh so nursing and working is possible. There are one of situations where a meeting doesn’t allow me to nurse and we do a bottle and I pump but that’s pretty rare since I can mostly be off camera.
Mentor
Similar experience here. I pushed for accommodation to stay home for a few months after leave and now I go in a couple half days. Would have been impossible if I had to just pump! My pump output was also low.
I struggled with BF both kids and went with formula. I felt terrible for doing it with my first child but was completely at peace with it by my second one. There are enough stresses with parenthood, don’t add to it.
I think that parenting books significantly downplay the struggles and stress of breastfeeding. I felt like a failure and that I was the only one. Such a lie I told myself. So many of us struggle with it.
I never wanted to breastfeed.
Didn’t breastfeed any of my 4 kids. Tried pumping for a few days with my first, had a low supply, was tired all the time, so I called it a day.
My kids are happy and healthy.
Who is pressuring you? Don’t listen to anyone, it’s no one’s business but yours how to feed your baby.
The most important thing for your baby is a happy, healthy mom. If you have a breastfeeding center in your city, they have great resources and for many it gets better eventually. If you can supplement formula with bf that’s great. If bf’ing isn’t working, formula is fine. I personally didn’t have issues with supply, but I went to a weekly bf support group at the breastfeeding center in DC and heard a lot of moms who were struggling. I get that there are a lot of benefits to breast milk and bf’ing. But if it’s making mom feel bad about herself, it’s just not worth it. You’re doing the best you can and either way, you’re going to make sure your baby is healthy. Make sure you take care of yourself too.
I supplemented with formula, and that helped take the pressure off, so much so that I’m still nursing 18 months later. I stopped pumping around 12 months, but gradually had weaned down on the pumping to 3-2-1 times during the workday. Pumping was not fun and I wish I stopped sooner for my sanity! I will def stop sooner next time.
Breastfeeding 8x a day is hard… I would think pumping 8x a day is even harder. The truth is the benefits of breast milk are often overstated (when you meet a new adult are you able to tell whether they were breastfed?)… and the toll it takes on mom to EBF or pump is often understated.
If it’s going to tangibly improve your stress/mental health to supplement or give up pumping altogether that’s a more than reasonable trade off to make sure your babe has a mom that is happy and firing on all cylinders.
I pumped and simply made a decision to only pump a certain number of times per day. I simply didn't have time to pump every couple of hours. Whatever milk I made I fed to my baby. If my baby needed more, I supplemented. Don't stress it. The evidence that breast milk is "better" is pretty tenuous. If it comes easy to you, by all means do it but, if it doesn't, it isn't worth driving yourself crazy about.
Have you seen a lactation consultant? That might help. I had a hard time in the beginning and was pumping nonstop. I found that pumping 2-3 times a day with mostly breastfeeding is more manageable for me. If I'm lucky now I might pump twice a day. When I feel like my supply is low I eat the lactation cookies and that seemed to help.
Have you met face to face with a lactation professional? There are sooooooo many little nuances that can set you back - babies latch due to ties and equipment (appropriate fit, etc.). My nipples/breasts were too small compared to the average size the pump supplied. I would have never known. I received equipment that fit my body and then I became an over producer.
Totally endorse meeting with a lactation consultant. My mom was one (she retired this year) and it was super helpful for me.
I never produced enough and had to supplement with bottles the whole time. In the end, Fed is best. If you're stressed out from the pressure of breastfeeding, it's ok to use bottles and formula. Stress is counterproductive and can dry up your supply, which can cause more stress from feeling like you're not enough.
BF as much as you want to/can and use formula if you need to supplement. Whatever keeps your kid fed and healthy.
Mentor
F
I EP (exclusively pump) and did 8x a day for the first few months until my supply regulated and now pump 5x per day (1 MOTN + 4 during day). Facebook support groups have been super helpful imo.
Coach
How long post partum are you? Are you latching baby at all? I could not exclusively pump but I know some women who have. They got by with using wearable pumps, having a set schedule, and supplementing with formula after 6 months. Could you have someone donate milk or use formula? Have you been to a lactation consultant?
Pumping in general is hard. I always hated it. I was lucky enough that BFing came easy enough to me and my babies and I produced enough but I stressed a lot with my first about pumping enough when I went back to work. It was really hard and only got easier when she was around 1 and would only nurse at night and sometimes in the mornings so I didn't have to worry about pumping anymore. I did supplement with formula in the early days for both babies before my milk came in and I definitely felt like I was failing at that time, but it was also such a relief to have the formula and know they were being fed and were happy. Ultimately you need to do what is best for you and your baby and that doesn't always mean BF. I know there is tons of pressure to BF, but fed is best and a happy, healthy mom is a good mom. Continue to try to pump and breastfeed if you really want, you can get through it. I had a friend that exclusively pumped for a year so it is definitely possible. But everyone is different and has different experiences so please don't feel guilty if you decide it's too hard or stressful and choose to supplement or switch to formula all together. I also have several family and friends that also used formula in some capacity and all of our kids are happy, healthy and thriving.
I exclusively pumped for about 6 weeks and honestly I regret not switching to formula sooner. My baby is 3 months now and the other night my husband was reminiscing about his newborn days and it made me so sad because it’s all a blur to me. I was so tired and stressed and spent so much time attached to the pump, I feel like I missed out on time with my son I will never get back
BF and pumping was not for me. I stopped at 2 months old and it was the best decision for me and my son (now 16 months) is thriving! Do what’s best for you and your family.
It gets better, promise. I nursed then pumped right after. I ended up producing way too much. My first two I struggled producing. But it does get better. I also drank “mother’s milk” tea and it helped.
Coach
Never measure how much milk you're producing as to whether or not it is "enough," or how much your baby cries or wants to eat - only by the number of poopy and wet diapers and whether baby is growing ok. You can take your baby to a pediatrician anytime to be weighed, no appointment is necessary. Most women think if their baby is crying a lot that they're hungry and they want to eat more and they aren't producing enough but it's generally not true. Even if you exclusively pump, babies generally don't need as much breast milk as formula. You see babies with big giant bottles of formula and think oh my baby isn't eating enough, but you can't really compare it like that.
Only measure poopy/wet diapers. Not crying, not baby acting like their tummy hurts, not how much you are producing when pumping, etc.