So why is it that the reaction to a counter offer I make is, "do you really want the job" or " are you all in"?

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Posting as :
works at
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I have literally never gotten that. If you are out of their budget, say bye

Yeah, never heard this either. Walk away.

I once had someone ask me "are you a team player???" because they wanted me to accept their low ball offer. That was a deal breaker for me.

it's a ploy to make you back down/intimidate you by making you think they won't match you

Never had this happen. Usually, companies don't really make those kinds of statements unless they have other candidates that are willing to take lower salaries

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