Somebody recently told me that to get married, a couple are expected to spend 2-3 months salary ($20k+?!) on an engagement ring and even more on the actual wedding. Is this for real? Why?!

It all depends on your budget and how much effort you want to put into this “most important day of your life”. Personally I spent about 25k on the ring cuz my wife want the high end stuff, her family covered the ceremony, which cost about 70k (300 guests approx.) and my family covered the honeymoon, which is about 20k. If you feel this is expensive, wait till you have a kid. Good luck!

My wife wanted an engagement/wedding ring that was low key and inexpensive. We spent $800. The wedding was held at a friend’s house, we had inexpensive catering so both food and drink plus decorations was only about $8k, then pictures for the engagement and wedding cost $2k, we also had a friend do it and gave us a great deal. All in, including my wife’s dress, was well under $15k for everything. Im grateful my wife doesn’t want a doorknob-sized rock.

Also, we’ve been happily married for 4 years and we just bought our second rental property, so... priorities dude

Wow. What. Even if it is the most important day of your life... you could put a kid through university in most countries for $80k. $50k you could renovate a house to a luxury standard. $30k you could buy a brand new car, or feed a family for like 10 years

I hope that whenever I get married my first thoughts aren’t about the ring being used as collateral.

@OP I’m surprised that you’re so surprised. $50-100k+ is a fairly standard range for a wedding in this tax bracket

30k on a wedding is very average, and if anything, lower than average... most weddings I hear are around 50k at least

You see that I put “the most important day of our lives” in quotation right. Like I said, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a small budget wedding/ring. It all depends on your situation. My wife’s family is loaded, my family is loaded, we are both making very good $$$, I don’t think it’s wrong to spend more on this.

@OP why don’t you just go online, look at the cost of rings, and a few wedding venues. Seems like you’re doubting people who have actually gone through the process... why ask if you’re not going to accept people’s answers?

Yep this adds up fast.
Invitations / other paper products
Church donations
Flowers
Photography
Videography
Church music/ choir / bells
Band / Dj
Catering
Event space
Cake

Maybe I’m a cheap fuck. Is it wrong I rather buy amazon stock. Is something wrong with me?....

@JPM1 sorry I didn’t mean to be flippant. I don’t doubt the people here, I’m taking what’s being said at face value and I’m just shocked. To clarify, I grew up poor. My dad’s wedding party was in the garden of his parents’ house. His wife and I made the table settings with the other bridesmaids ourselves out of wild flowers and gift-wrapped blocks of wood. My best friend had his wedding at a fancy venue but he only had 40 guests and we each paid for our share (£125, including accommodation for 2 nights at a castle in Scotland) so he cost to him was fairly minor.
I don’t even know 300 people; and I can’t think of more than a few dozen I’d want to invite to a wedding. The idea of paying $7 for a hallmark RSVP card is absurd to me, when I can get a dozen blanks for a dollar and print my own. This is honestly eye-opening.

It was an Indian wedding... lots of ceremonies and meals

Going to be a groomsman in a wedding coming up. Family wedding so my relatives and I were discussing budget. $80.0K is their budget for the ceremony alone and the bride’s parents are covering the honeymoon. For some people the wedding is the most important day of their lives. Not a big subscriber to that line of thinking.

To be clear - 30 grand on everything. Ceremony/reception, DJ, photography/videography, florists, suits, dresses, etc. That shit adds up fast. It was for about 160 guests.

@OP - weddings are very expensive. About $200 - $300 per head on average. $30k is average. I know coworkers who spent $100k+ on their weddings. Lol, even if you want to do an elopement with no guests - you might spend $5k on the officiant, dress, photographer alone

Have you ever looked up how much diamonds cost? And for the wedding the bar tab alone will be around $10k

@analyst op. I'm not a florist but you are often talking the difference between seasonal and more local at say a dollar a stem vs out of season or exotic that are airlifted in at $10 a stem. Also people get bad at budgeting their own work. It's not just the flowers, it's the foam and the vases and the transport. You can't compare the flowers (only one part of the raw materials) to the delivered finished goods, and many don't have a talent to make that look good.

Also bouquet, center pieces, church arrangements including pew ends, reception space, boutineers. Plenty of places you can add to the flower budget.

My Ex did wedding invitations etc. Start adding reply cards, maps, information sheets, table plans, orders of service, place cards. That adds up.

I'm a semipro hobby photographer. I'd never touch wedding photography to many things to go wrong and angry bridezillas.

It’s all silly. People actually go into debt for their wedding. No wonder divorce rate is high.

Indian weddings are the bomb. If you haven’t been to one go make some Indian friends.

I spent $3k on the engagement ring, $3k total on the wedding bands, about $30k on the wedding itself, and $20k on the honeymoon (2 weeks in a Caribbean villa).

It’s all about what you’re comfortable spending and what you prioritize. My wife isn’t a flashy person and I’m sure she would have hated it if I got her a $20k ring, but we did want to have a nice ceremony/reception and a baller honeymoon, so we allocated our funds there instead.