{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Someone I used to work with is asking me for help desperately. We didn't get along that well when I used to work there, mainly because she wasn't a good manager to me. If I help her, am I a pushover? As much as I want to get my revenge, my conscience is telling me to do the right thing", "post_id": "613e86f69aa9a9002cbe6789", "reply_count": 18, "vote_count": 5, "bowl_id": "5e8656b80bdab1002a7355dc", "bowl_name": "Confession ", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Someone I used to work with is asking me for help desperately. We didn't get along that well when I used to work there, mainly because she wasn't a good manager to me. If I help her, am I a pushover? As much as I want to get my revenge, my conscience is telling me to do the right thing

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“I don’t have capacity.”


Ignore and move on.


The right thing is to not help people that won't help you. Otherwise, I'd like you to paint my house.


Depends. Help her to do what?

Nope…her problem

Define help. Like is she looking for a job? Is she looking for something else? I have been in this position. I do not lie in this context - doesn't help anyone if you refer someone who sucks

If you're still at the same firm, then you might need to help out. If you work at a different firm, just say no politely and she can jog on!

If someone I did not like and planned to actively avoid in the future asked me for help, I would either not respond or if thats not possible, I would not actively help them but rather point them to a resource they can use to help themselves and then go dark.

Someone asking for help does not obligate you to helping.

I would help. Karma. Plus I’d rather do something that feels “right” than something that makes me feel mean.

But you also have to take care of you, and expending extra time and energy working for free for a person that never cared about you when working together doesn’t seem like a priority to me. Be kind, but don’t let people walk on you.


Thanks everyone for all your advices!

No. Your time and energy isn’t for her/him

I don’t believe in karma but I guess this is it. Don’t help. Say you’re busy.

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