Something has been bothering me for years now, but I thought this is a safe forum to ask and get some peace of mind...

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Don’t be embarrassed to call that out. I think you need to seek the help of both a sleep specialist and a therapist. I would be concerned if he refuses both of those things.

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Thank you everyone! He agrees to see a sleep specialist and a therapist. We both want to address this for our sanity.
I knew, by bringing it up with you ladies on this bowl, I could get the support I was looking for!! Love you all ♥️

likeupliftingsmart

Awwww, this is awesome! Love how everyone comes together. Most importantly sounds like he’s willing to get help! Good luck.

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What do you mean he acts and does things differently? Is he fully functional and out of bed? Every day? How many hours?

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Sorry, OP. That’s really scary. I agree that it seems like he needs to speak to a specialist. I would hope that he would want to do that.

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Maybe go to couple therapy on top of him going on his own too.
I know that apps like Betterhelp offer both.

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Examples?

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Hi OP! I’m sorry that’s so scary - I can’t imagine if you’ve been going through that for years. I had an amazing ex- boyfriend who would never want me to feel uncomfortable. He did this a few times - it really freaked me out and upset me before I realized it.

As far as his subconscious, I imagine it’s like a dream to him. In his dream or head, there’s every reason it’s consensual. Who knows. I wouldn’t let it worry you if everything he does conscious is great. My ex was so upset when I told him what he did.

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Something similar happened to me, but I was the one asleep with no recollection. Every now and then I would yell at my ex not to touch me and to get away from me in my sleep. It upset him so much and I would remember nothing after he woke me up. I felt horrible. So, people can do things in their sleep that they don’t intend to do and don’t remember.

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I’ve been with someone who is the most decent person I have ever come across my entire life. He has this weird side of him though when he is asleep. He does things when he is asleep that he doesn’t remember at all when he wakes up. When I try to ask/remind him about it after he wakes up, he appears as shocked as myself, because in his normal senses he would never do something like that. I mean it just doesn’t align with his personality. What should I make out of it? It’s bothering me so much and I’m not able to figure out how can one person have 2 different personalities when they’re awake vs asleep. Anyone has any researched stuff to read up that they can point me to?

Sounds like he’s sleepwalking and wouldn’t have any recollection of it. What sort of things is he doing?

Sexually aggressive sort of 😢. Sorry I was too embarrassed to call it out. He looks embarrassed as well when I bring it up. He is just not that kind normally. Just random in the middle of deep sleep.

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