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Sometimes I just wanna tell my parents to just STFU. But I could never disrespect them after sacrificing so much for me and my siblings. Any other first generation Asians can relate? Or actually anyone in general really.

likeupliftingfunny
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I feel there’s this indoctrination that goes on between first generation parents and their kids. My parents came here with me some time ago but as an adult I no longer fool myself that this was some great sacrifice “for me.” They left because either they wanted to or they had too. Either way they mainly did it for themselves. No doubt I’ve been a beneficiary of this decision but I’m not going to carry on this burden that I somehow owe them anything. I’m not saying this applies to everyone but it’s my take.

Having said that I would never disrespect my parents like that regardless of whether they sacrificed or not. I just listen, nod, bite my tongue and try to let it go as much as possible. I do have boundaries and there are topics I simply don’t discuss with them. I’ll be like “we’re not going to talk about this …”

likesmarthelpful

That was a major realization for me, trying to understand why they left and find peace with it.

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“I’ll take it under advisement “

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Just have to learn how to do it... Respectfully

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First gen. Asian. American. Chinese.

Yes. But I do it in a way that's standing up for myself, or that they're not respecting my thoughts and their efforts to give us a better and more knowledgeable life - to get to that middle ground of learning to listen and converse with each other instead of it being a power struggle thing / "you listen to me bc I'm your parent"

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Yes, but I’ve never done it. I have a lot of internalized rage and suppressed emotions that make me think about punching them any time I’m around them. With that being said - I have never acted on my emotions and said/do anything to them. I just go “mhmm.” It’s a struggle. I appreciate the lessons, skills and qualities I’ve acquired as a result of the hardships experienced as a kid and young adult, but there’s definitely some lasting negative impacts that are best left to therapy and exercise

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Yes lol

I feel that way sometimes but think about the times my parents had and the environment they grew up in. It’s very different from what you have growing up. I will always love and respect my parents - their opinion difference to me is just from their environment. I don’t blame them for that, and grateful they sacrificed so much for me to have my more open viewpoint.

You should too, especially if you acknowledge their sacrifices for you and your siblings.

Get this temptation all the freaking time lol

You can disagree respectfully and draw up boundaries. I have boundaries up with my parents and they are fine with it. Just talk to them! and if they disagree let them disagree but hold fast to your convictions

Additional Posts

I daydream sometimes about moving out of the city, into a beautiful house with lots of mature trees and adventures in nature for the kids. The problem is I still want to be connected to a city, culture, progressive ideas, etc. Where should I target?

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