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First of all, having anxiety and depression are common for Black people in America, in corporate America and in agencies. There is a common type of hyper vigilance, repression and often denial, even not recognizing the fact that we are experiencing symptoms. A recent study showed that Black executives reported significantly higher rates of clinical symptoms of depression and anxiety. I don’t think that this industry is any worse than any other sector. One of the issues we might have, more so than industries where billables are not an issue, is that we might not have enough time for self-care and treatment. It sounds like you have diagnoses already. Be sure to work with someone who understands racial trauma and won’t ask you to compartmentalism yourself (like being Black might be difficult, but let’s separate that from your GAD and MDD to talk about how to manage through this). Having a support system at work is really important so that you do not internalize the environment. Recognize that where we are, what’s happening can make us more sensitive than other people might seem to be. Also that feeling hypersensitive isn’t necessarily inappropriate or unjustified. Just keep getting treatment and try to find help that understands how being Black can play a huge part in the onset or escalation of GAD and MDD. Also, pick and choose your battles. Sometimes you can just decide to decide later if you should react. Sometimes you might take something that happens as a point of information to be aware of and help you make decisions. Sometimes you just need to speak up — but before you do, decide what your goals are for the conversation and response. Never engage when you don’t know what you want out of it.
Rising Star
Don’t be afraid of working with a therapist and psych. Dialectical behavior therapy has been really useful for me, and a psych put me on some low grade, anxiety meds. It’s made a massive difference.
I worked as CW for 20+ years at agencies. Ever since I was an intern, I was told (and I once believed) anyone who worked in-house couldn’t cut it as an agency creative. Then I went in-house and discovered my own truth. My work is still challenging and creative, but I don’t have to compromise my sanity. I shut down at 5 every day.
Every agency is different. Every company is different. Find a place that works for you without working you to death.
Rising Star
I also quit smoking weed and drinking. I was smoking massive amounts of weed to self medicate the anxiety, like an ounce a week. 😃 Quitting weed has helped a ton, but I couldn’t have quit it without the anxiety meds. I take much less of them now. If I could only kick my coffee and sugar habit.... 😁😁😁
Can relate and also conflicted on what to do. Not positive that therapy is for me after trying out a few sessions. Glad SS1 found anxiety meds helpful but I’m skeptical of regular pharma meds myself so i just self medicate with weed. Thinking that busting out of the industry might be what’s needed though
What you are experiencing is normal sadly. Work with a therapist. It’s hard playing the ‘role’ to exist in white spaces where you have to carry the entire race and yet can’t even be your true self.
Find someone to talk to, not a friend, a professional. There’s no shame in it, it’s can be empowering when you find the right connection.