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Well Black people are not a monolith, try not to let other Black people embarrass you lol. And they probably have internalized because racism is a system and not all of us will be able to “Black Excellence” our way around it. Stand in your truth if you want to be a republican but don’t blame it on black folks c’mon lol
Pro
KPMG 1 anti Black racism means that white people get to be individuals while Black people don’t.
This is the same weak minded mentality that keeps other blacks held back professionally because they aren’t shucking and bending over for the dominant culture. Or those pick me negroes who want to be the only token and sabotage other black talent.
THIS!!!
If you’re embarrassed being black, just say that! The history of that word is longer than it has been on their tongues and at the end of the day, a word doesn’t define me when they relied on the black breast milk for sustenance. I know who I am and who my ancestors were but I don’t like pick me negroes acting like they are better than my family living in the hoods. You clearly have missed the memo about life, giving back and opportunity. You look down on ghetto blacks because you think you are better than them and you’re not! This is the same mentality that allowed blacks to loose control and be sold as slaves, too busy up white folks behinds. Stay in your own lane. You are so bothered by what white people think, might as well go procreate with them and you’ll never have to be embarrassed by “an urban black” again. Sellout mentality. You’re still an N word in a suit!
#triggered
#ScreamingAtEffigies
What in the uncle ruckus is going on right now?
This is a strange post.
How do you “handle” when non-black people are behaving embarrassingly?
Here’s a trick: when the party is acting badly, make it about them. Like, they are the fool. When you run into someone exceptional, think of them as representative of all of us.
Increases self love. Decreases self hate (or embarrassment).
If non-Black people did this I'd feel relieved that they aren't Black because it wouldn't validate any stereotypes about Black people.
Embarrassed before whom, sir?
It sounds like you're putting white people on a pedestal and asking every black people to behave in front of them, so you don't look bad.
Just think about how twisted that sounds.
Unfortunately, what you are feeling is internalized racism. Please unpack that for your sake.
Pro
OP checking in on you. It is possible to solve this if you commit to it.
There is nothing to be ashamed of in this. We live is an anti-Black world so it makes sense that anti-Blackness would seep into our minds. Your emotional and intellectual responses to seeing other Black people behave in ways that white people would disapprove is a natural thing.
Now that you know why, you can change it.
This post really screams “Black immigrant who has just been exposed to Black America” or someone who has never lived the Black American experience 👀
Pro
He absolutely did. Sad
I’m not sure about this post 🤔
??? Huh. Black people are not a monolith.
You’d be surprised how well “others” understand the nuances of class within the Black community. That’s why you’ll hear “oh you’re articulate. You can sit with us”
They love to separate us based on respectability politics. And people who have lived the Black experience should know this.
So this is a strange post to me. Where are you from?
Conversation Starter
This sounds like someone who learned about Black culture from White Missionaries or white Media, so the perception is already skewed negative for anything that isn’t white normative.
Interesting. I have a parallel scenario I’d like to put forward. If Asian Americans decided to come to work in an American establishment and decided to conduct meetings in their native Asian languages and a white person complains about it, is that white person putting Asian culture in a negative light? I’m asking this because there was an incident in college where a few TAs from my Comp Sci class would explain some homework problems to a cluster of students in an Asian language. I always hated it and felt isolated because I could never join the group even though it was during office hours that everyone had access to. I never thought to complain about it but a white student ended up surfacing the issue to our professor because it was office hours and we were all there to learn too, not just the kids who could understand Chinese. Was that white kid putting Asian normative behavior in a negative light or was it ok to ask TAs to just be more accommodating of what everyone else was expecting in this social setting?
I just think it comes down to reading the room and understanding if you’re in the position to say something or not. If the person is a close friend, say something about it later. If they’re not, let them be. It’s hard to check a black person you’re not close to especially in this scenario lolol. Learned this the the hard way by attending a poor black school for two years and a private black school.
Senior Consultant? With whom? This is embarrassing 😂
Ok. I was on an uptown train in Harlem when someone took over the loudspeaker in the conductor's chamber and decided to ham it up in a sexually explicit and expletive laden rant. On the loudspeaker where they'd usually announce what stop we were at. They were most likely Black.
And I'm sorry but there's simply NO EXCUSE for this behavior. None.
Actually another woman (Black) got up and shouted to the whole train car how people have no class nowadays, are doing all kinds of things that were unheard of every since Covid hit, how there are children on this train and that the people really should lose their jobs but they're protected by a union and know they most likely won't be fired. She's apologized to the child that had to hear this.
She was basically right. I was disgusted but not enough to get up and rant to everyone on the train but I did file a complaint on the MTA's website.
So while I don't identify with these idiots I am aware that living in the United States of America that people will think of them as typical black folk and either throw me in the same bin with them or claim I'm an "exception" when I'm not really except that I don't take over the subway loudspeaker to go on a sexually explicit rant.
You are all yelling at an effigy. I have a feeling you'd feel similarly if you had to live through something like this...
Finally found the explanation behind your post and well OP you are right that this does affect your personal image. And in truth, it does affect everyone in this bowl. However, it speaks to white people’s shortcomings that they are ignorant enough to generalize and stereotype an entire race. They do it to other races as well in varying degrees. But you are right that crass displays like the one you saw obviously feed into negative stereotypes of what it means to be black. Like SD1 said, there are many hurt people in this bowl and it should be obvious why. We didn’t ask for these stereotypes and for the real word effects they come with. If it’s any comfort, the issues with our community have more to do with class than race. Poverty is a more dehumanizing factor than we give it credit for. And for a very long time, poverty was the only available lifestyle for many black people. Anyone yelling sexual expletives on a bus is a person with very little to lose in terms of class. That often happens to be people trapped in severe poverty, far too many of them being black. I hope that helps explain what’s wrong with our community. We have a disproportionate amount of people trapped in poverty and many middle and upper class black people have no option but to validate it as normal black existence because of historical and present day systematic racism that contributed to this poverty. To a degree, it also has to do with black people being too egalitarian and accommodating of certain behaviors in an attempt to denounce “white normativism” but that’s a discussion for another day.
This is common thinking with west indians from NY/NJ I've noticed and its nice and humbling for them when you ask them about the same negative things going on in the country they immigrated from
Pro
I don’t think it humbles them the way you think. There is a national pride that non American Black people have which Black Americans cannot comprehend. Unfortunately, they will still look down on ADOS. Same as Black people from African nations.
There isn’t much logic to it. It’s pathology.
And it’s interesting because they, like non-Black people of color, wouldn’t have the social rights they have in the USA if ADOS did not fight for civil rights in the US. This is something that I remind several of my family members of from time to time and strategically.
Either way, I think helping OP rather than turning this into an attack makes the most sense.
Enthusiast
Wow. This is a lot to unpack. Imagine, living your life hoping that yt people don't see you as "that kind of N..." I'm not Black, I'm O.J...ok 🤷🏾♀️
how did we go from N word to Republican in two shakes of a cats tail? what in the actual hell is this? 🤣🤣🤣
Yall got here because of the sacrifices of descendants of slaves, came here with privilege and you have the nerve to say what?
Mind you, I am a first generation African, and I still find this post maaaad troublesome.. I know I have privilege so I watch my mouth, try to understand and have some EMPATHY for the African American experience. You haven't lived it.. Take several seats..
I am also not different from many other Black people in this country (and probably others)
https://www.inquirer.com/opinion/black-responsibility-crimes-embarrassment-20190709.html
Pro
True. But you can be.
You might benefit from some introspection and unpacking why you're so beholden to the white gaze.
It is more than a little bit concerning that you associate the GOP with anti-blackness, but still find yourself leaning in that direction.
Pro
OP I have relatives who are as you described. I have worked to resist their pull and I am now at the point where I can easily respond to them with well placed pearls of wisdom when the opportunity arises.