Sometimes my people embarrass me. I'm not sure what to do or how to handle this. I don't want to be one of those Black people (like some of my relatives) that call other Black people some variation of the n-word.

But sometimes that's exactly how some people act. It's like they've internalized the negative stereotypes to such an extent that they think we're all supposed to be like that.

I don't want to become a Republican but on the other hand a broken clock is right twice a day ...

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

Well Black people are not a monolith, try not to let other Black people embarrass you lol. And they probably have internalized because racism is a system and not all of us will be able to “Black Excellence” our way around it. Stand in your truth if you want to be a republican but don’t blame it on black folks c’mon lol

likeupliftingsmart

KPMG 1 anti Black racism means that white people get to be individuals while Black people don’t.

like

This is the same weak minded mentality that keeps other blacks held back professionally because they aren’t shucking and bending over for the dominant culture. Or those pick me negroes who want to be the only token and sabotage other black talent.

likesmart

THIS!!!

Recent IconRecent

If you’re embarrassed being black, just say that! The history of that word is longer than it has been on their tongues and at the end of the day, a word doesn’t define me when they relied on the black breast milk for sustenance. I know who I am and who my ancestors were but I don’t like pick me negroes acting like they are better than my family living in the hoods. You clearly have missed the memo about life, giving back and opportunity. You look down on ghetto blacks because you think you are better than them and you’re not! This is the same mentality that allowed blacks to loose control and be sold as slaves, too busy up white folks behinds. Stay in your own lane. You are so bothered by what white people think, might as well go procreate with them and you’ll never have to be embarrassed by “an urban black” again. Sellout mentality. You’re still an N word in a suit!

likesmart

#triggered
#ScreamingAtEffigies

What in the uncle ruckus is going on right now?

likefunny

This is a strange post.

How do you “handle” when non-black people are behaving embarrassingly?

Here’s a trick: when the party is acting badly, make it about them. Like, they are the fool. When you run into someone exceptional, think of them as representative of all of us.

Increases self love. Decreases self hate (or embarrassment).

like

If non-Black people did this I'd feel relieved that they aren't Black because it wouldn't validate any stereotypes about Black people.

Embarrassed before whom, sir?

It sounds like you're putting white people on a pedestal and asking every black people to behave in front of them, so you don't look bad.

Just think about how twisted that sounds.

like

Unfortunately, what you are feeling is internalized racism. Please unpack that for your sake.

like

OP checking in on you. It is possible to solve this if you commit to it.

There is nothing to be ashamed of in this. We live is an anti-Black world so it makes sense that anti-Blackness would seep into our minds. Your emotional and intellectual responses to seeing other Black people behave in ways that white people would disapprove is a natural thing.

Now that you know why, you can change it.

like

This post really screams “Black immigrant who has just been exposed to Black America” or someone who has never lived the Black American experience 👀

likesmart

He absolutely did. Sad

I’m not sure about this post 🤔

like

??? Huh. Black people are not a monolith.
You’d be surprised how well “others” understand the nuances of class within the Black community. That’s why you’ll hear “oh you’re articulate. You can sit with us”
They love to separate us based on respectability politics. And people who have lived the Black experience should know this.

So this is a strange post to me. Where are you from?

like

This sounds like someone who learned about Black culture from White Missionaries or white Media, so the perception is already skewed negative for anything that isn’t white normative.

like

Interesting. I have a parallel scenario I’d like to put forward. If Asian Americans decided to come to work in an American establishment and decided to conduct meetings in their native Asian languages and a white person complains about it, is that white person putting Asian culture in a negative light? I’m asking this because there was an incident in college where a few TAs from my Comp Sci class would explain some homework problems to a cluster of students in an Asian language. I always hated it and felt isolated because I could never join the group even though it was during office hours that everyone had access to. I never thought to complain about it but a white student ended up surfacing the issue to our professor because it was office hours and we were all there to learn too, not just the kids who could understand Chinese. Was that white kid putting Asian normative behavior in a negative light or was it ok to ask TAs to just be more accommodating of what everyone else was expecting in this social setting?

I just think it comes down to reading the room and understanding if you’re in the position to say something or not. If the person is a close friend, say something about it later. If they’re not, let them be. It’s hard to check a black person you’re not close to especially in this scenario lolol. Learned this the the hard way by attending a poor black school for two years and a private black school.

like

Senior Consultant? With whom? This is embarrassing 😂

like

Ok. I was on an uptown train in Harlem when someone took over the loudspeaker in the conductor's chamber and decided to ham it up in a sexually explicit and expletive laden rant. On the loudspeaker where they'd usually announce what stop we were at. They were most likely Black.

And I'm sorry but there's simply NO EXCUSE for this behavior. None.

Actually another woman (Black) got up and shouted to the whole train car how people have no class nowadays, are doing all kinds of things that were unheard of every since Covid hit, how there are children on this train and that the people really should lose their jobs but they're protected by a union and know they most likely won't be fired. She's apologized to the child that had to hear this.

She was basically right. I was disgusted but not enough to get up and rant to everyone on the train but I did file a complaint on the MTA's website.

So while I don't identify with these idiots I am aware that living in the United States of America that people will think of them as typical black folk and either throw me in the same bin with them or claim I'm an "exception" when I'm not really except that I don't take over the subway loudspeaker to go on a sexually explicit rant.

You are all yelling at an effigy. I have a feeling you'd feel similarly if you had to live through something like this...

like

Finally found the explanation behind your post and well OP you are right that this does affect your personal image. And in truth, it does affect everyone in this bowl. However, it speaks to white people’s shortcomings that they are ignorant enough to generalize and stereotype an entire race. They do it to other races as well in varying degrees. But you are right that crass displays like the one you saw obviously feed into negative stereotypes of what it means to be black. Like SD1 said, there are many hurt people in this bowl and it should be obvious why. We didn’t ask for these stereotypes and for the real word effects they come with. If it’s any comfort, the issues with our community have more to do with class than race. Poverty is a more dehumanizing factor than we give it credit for. And for a very long time, poverty was the only available lifestyle for many black people. Anyone yelling sexual expletives on a bus is a person with very little to lose in terms of class. That often happens to be people trapped in severe poverty, far too many of them being black. I hope that helps explain what’s wrong with our community. We have a disproportionate amount of people trapped in poverty and many middle and upper class black people have no option but to validate it as normal black existence because of historical and present day systematic racism that contributed to this poverty. To a degree, it also has to do with black people being too egalitarian and accommodating of certain behaviors in an attempt to denounce “white normativism” but that’s a discussion for another day.

like

This is common thinking with west indians from NY/NJ I've noticed and its nice and humbling for them when you ask them about the same negative things going on in the country they immigrated from

smart

I don’t think it humbles them the way you think. There is a national pride that non American Black people have which Black Americans cannot comprehend. Unfortunately, they will still look down on ADOS. Same as Black people from African nations.

There isn’t much logic to it. It’s pathology.

And it’s interesting because they, like non-Black people of color, wouldn’t have the social rights they have in the USA if ADOS did not fight for civil rights in the US. This is something that I remind several of my family members of from time to time and strategically.

Either way, I think helping OP rather than turning this into an attack makes the most sense.

like

Wow. This is a lot to unpack. Imagine, living your life hoping that yt people don't see you as "that kind of N..." I'm not Black, I'm O.J...ok 🤷🏾‍♀️

like

how did we go from N word to Republican in two shakes of a cats tail? what in the actual hell is this? 🤣🤣🤣

Yall got here because of the sacrifices of descendants of slaves, came here with privilege and you have the nerve to say what?

Mind you, I am a first generation African, and I still find this post maaaad troublesome.. I know I have privilege so I watch my mouth, try to understand and have some EMPATHY for the African American experience. You haven't lived it.. Take several seats..

like

I am also not different from many other Black people in this country (and probably others)

https://www.inquirer.com/opinion/black-responsibility-crimes-embarrassment-20190709.html

True. But you can be.

You might benefit from some introspection and unpacking why you're so beholden to the white gaze.

It is more than a little bit concerning that you associate the GOP with anti-blackness, but still find yourself leaning in that direction.

OP I have relatives who are as you described. I have worked to resist their pull and I am now at the point where I can easily respond to them with well placed pearls of wisdom when the opportunity arises.

like

Related Posts

Does anyone know what are the hours at Audax? Is it grueling year round? I am just looking to get some insight into the culture/hours and flexibility.

like

If you had a choice, would you choose AFS or Deloitte GPS? The roles are different and I understand the differences between the two, I'm more concerned about company culture and support systems.

like

Thoughts on Platinum Equity vs Parthenon Capital for a PE ops role? Work Culture, Comp, WLB.

like

Any copywriters here working for Apple? Currently considering a role and keen to hear about any and everything - culture, WLB, comp etc

like

how’s the culture within Salesforce compared to working for big consulting firms like Accenture, Deloitte and PwC?

like

#DELL
For an employee joining as a SDE-2

Could you please help me know about the following:
1. The Onboarding and treatment to new employees.
2. Work culture.
3. Chances of career growth, hikes and promotion.
4. WLB

Please answer, as your inputs would mean a lot to me 🙏

likeuplifting

Hi
I am a software developer with 2.4 years of experience and looking for a job change. I am holding two offers from bain and company ( software developer - 12.5 lpa) and neudesic technologies (consultant 2 - 16 lpa) . Which one should i join considering better work opportunities and work culture?

like

Hello All,

Need some insights on
Adidas Gurgaon techub!! Working culture , growth , office, tech stack and management. Adidas

like

Interviewing for a finance lead position at Gemini. Anyone have insight as to work culture and what a good offer looks like?Gemini

Is Koch good company to work? How is culture& work life balance?

like

Hello 🐠 fellows ! I’ll be joining soon to EY as M. Do you have any advice on how to start my journey at EY? I come from D so I’m assuming it’s pretty much the same ? Or is there anything different very unique from EY culture ? Thanks !

likesmart

What are some good product based companies to work as Data Engineer?
Good in terms of learning, interesting work and good work culture.

like

About to join KGS as a Consultant in Deal Advisory, Strategy. Can anyone please clarify if this will be a client facing role or a backend role.
Also, would be great to know the work culture.

like

Hello, has anyone here worked for the UN as a Program Management Officer? If so, what has been the experience. Knowing that it is indeed a huge institution, can you provide any insights on the UN work culture (even from a local perspective)?. Thank you!

like

Thought on Empire Life? Interviewing for a process improvement leader position and seeing mixed reviews on low salary, career progression, and company culture. Hoping someone can give me some insight. Thanks!!

like

Hey anyone can tell me what should I expect from a job as Financial Analyst at Gallagher & Mohan in terms of pay wise or work culture?

Saw mixed reviews on Glassdoor either it's was like 0 star or 5 star.

Now I am confused

like

I recently got a job offer from a company I used to work for that has a great work/life balance and culture but has a slower track to get promoted. My current employer has a not great work/life balance but it’s much easier to get promoted. Currently 5 years into my career currently bouncing between a project lead and a discipline manager… it’s a decent pay bump- 30%. But is it worth giving up the future potential advancements ?

like

SOS I’m a first year teacher. I’m at a VERY challenging school district & a different culture than I’ve ever been around before. I cant get through a full day’s lesson! I spend more time disciplining!

like

Hi All,
One of my friends got an offer from Allstate India.Just wanted to know how is the company in terms of learning ? How is the work culture?

like

More Posts

Best Friday lunch spots in river north or Fulton market?

like

Hi guys,

Anyone working in TCS, please respond.

Could you please reply with the Holiday list for Oct 2022. Especially in Kerala

like

Any supply chain solution architect on this forum? I’d like to connect and understand your career path and also learn what the future holds in this domain.

like

HR shared offer letter yesterday and sent linkdin request. How to deal with this situation as he can track my activity like ( likes on job post opportunity, Open for work etc..)
Note - 2 month of notice period to serve to get counter offer

like

Question for folks in here who work at a company with unlimited PTO/vacation - how do you manage this from being abused by employees?

like

What is the most ridiculous/annoying reason a company has given you for not being able to give you a raise? Mine just pulled the “if we give you more, we have to pay everyone else less” card. Like… ok, fine by me!

funnylike

Where my Accelerate peeps

Has it ever happened to you that while your teammates got promoted to the next level, you were denied for the promotion? If yes, how did you deal with it and how has it shaped your present?

like

Does Goldman Sachs impose a 6 month probation period for all new hires?

like

BDO SALT Boston is growing. We’re looking for an experienced associate and senior if you want to make the switch. Happy to talk if you want to learn more.

likefunny

Does SAP hires Oracle database professionals SAP ?

like

Looking for a referral if anyone can help

like

Is it’s correct for a company to under pay me and treat me with disrespect because I am a woman?

like

My brother wants to pursue a career in digital marketing without a college degree, is this even possible? If so, what are some resources/companies he should look into? Any advice would be appreciated.😊

like

Many Officers coming out of the military have an expectation (especially academy grads) of making $120k+ first year out... would you say this is unrealistic?

like

I have three OL — 1) HCL with 23LPA - 20 fixed. 2) ROBERT Bosch 20 LPA - 18 Fixed. 3) SOCIATE GENRAL - 21 FIXED. which one should I join , very confused. which one to choose ?

What is the health insurance coverage at Google? How much deductible and copay?

Given the increasing demand for tech hiring, in-house tech recruiters (US based) -- what do you think the compensation range should be for someone 6-8 years of experience? as well as 4-6?

like

My compensator communicator told me that I’m amongst the highest raises for someone who completed 1st year as a manager. I’m in a high COL&advisory. 120K base &16K bonus. Is that super high? TIA

like

Getting out of tech risk for a 70% increase in TC. For all the college hires that got mislead by how risk consulting was sold to them there’s hope out there. Keep pushing 🥺

likeupliftingfunny

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal