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I saw my parents go through a divorce. No counseling after. Family and friends helped my mom, and staying very busy to keep her mind off it. Of course, she cried for some period but then told herself to get over it after some more time to move on with her life. My advice based on what my parents have told me: grieve because itās okay to do so. But then let go, and know that your life continues. focus on yourself by staying busy and with other loved ones who are positive and can uplift you during a difficult time.
Sometimes it's about finding the right counselor. I had several useless ones before finding one who was great. I don't have any other advice, but sorry you're going through that. One of the worst things I can imagine.
I went through a divorce, and what I eventually learned is that you have to give yourself time to grieve. They say a divorce is the emotional equivalent of losing a close relative, and I agree with that. It took me awhile to realize that it was okay for me to feel sad even though the divorce was the right thing for both of us.
Why donāt you want to go to counseling?
For me the biggest thing to realize is that each of us is a master of our own fate. Itās the end of an era - the next era will be terrible or great, but itās outcome is largely dependent on a total sum of every day that I live now. So I work everyday to make it great. I work on my house, my kid, my heath.. I cultivate my spirituality and healthy relationships. I invest in what I care about, and I donāt spend time looking back. I am the happiest Iāve ever been
Usually being opposed to counseling mean he/she didnāt tell you what you wanted to hear. The best counselors are the ones that make you take a good hard look in the mirror and tell you what you donāt want to hear. Best wishes. Divorce sucks
Recently divorced. Hereās what was very effective for me: 1) joined a really nice gym and continue to go consistently. 2) made conscious effort to rebuild friendships and support system around me 3) made sure I went out and socialized a lot, even during work travel. 4) this is the most important one: reminded people around me that sympathy is not needed and they shouldnāt assume I should stay in a marriage or try to save it because society wants it to work out. Iām better off divorced and you may be as well. Ask for support, not sympathy.
I did, EY. Three counselors, no real help/ counsel. I donāt want to be spending anymore money on that
There is another post about an hour back with the same situation; join in My sympathies to you friend
1) get counseling 2) respond to the other divorce thread
I didnāt do counseling either btw. I met with two both of whom did not impress me
Seek out a Divorce Care class at a local church. Best program ever.
Cut them off, pretend they died and some body snatching zombie took over their body.
Love that advice, D5. Thank you
I just saw that KPMG1 š
Also, maybe it isn't too late to salvage the marriage? I don't know the specifics, but if it's not too late and there's anything left you can do to save it, maybe give it a shot so you at least know you've done everything you can?