{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Started dating a guy who’s been married before. I am 28F, he’s a 28M and I find myself never talking about it. He brought it up on our first date and honestly ever since then I’ve never asked/wanted to know too much. Is this a recipe for disaster?", "post_id": "5efd9f2f964a730021035448", "reply_count": 4, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }
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Started dating a guy who’s been married before. I am 28F, he’s a 28M and I find myself never talking about it. He brought it up on our first date and honestly ever since then I’ve never asked/wanted to know too much. Is this a recipe for disaster?

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I would probably want to understand why it didn’t work out and what he learned from it. If there are no kids / lingering baggage he is probably going to be well equipped to date, doesn’t even sound like he was married that long. When I was younger though, I was a bit “turned off” at the prospect of dating someone who was divorced. Now that I am older I would be open to someone who was previously married or even has kids.

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No - props to him for being up front with you about it. Some things just don’t work out. Are you bothered by it? Do you feel like some of the magic of weddings and engagement are taken away?

It doesn’t sound like he has a child and an ex-wife, and therefore, it doesn’t sound imperative for you to get along with said ex-wife.

Just be clear with him about how you feel.

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No. It sounds like he got married, it didn’t work out and they got divorced. They were mature enough to end it versus slogging through it. As someone who has dated divorced guys with children and complicated exes, this sounds like heaven. I would say, if you’re curious about what happened, ask. Once you talk about it, you’ll likely be much more comfortable with it.

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Only thing you might want to nail down is when (and if) he got divorced. Was it four months ago? Are the papers still pending? The more time in between is better, but knowing is the most important.

Other than that, have at it!

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