Started dating a mutual friend, we’ll call her Lily, a month ago, and for the first time in a long time I felt this might actually have potential - been a while since I felt a decent connection. However, her housemate used to date my housemate (that’s how I knew her), and that ended in April after a year of on and off dating.

(Continued in the comments)

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Don’t make it too complicated. Tell Lily that’s Lily’s and your business. If the friend can’t handle it & your relationship is affected by that bs. That’s not the good friend to hang with

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I like this, and good way to flesh out whether this was an excuse to let you down, or a genuine reason.

I'd shoot her the text and leave the door open. If it isn't too painful for you maybe suggest that you continue to hang out as friends.

Personally, I think the housemate thing is kind of a lame excuse. It makes her/her friend seem immature. But I don't know enough about the situation to really comment.

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Would be honest and say you’re disappointed but you understand. Would maybe suggest keeping in touch and maybe can grab coffee in a few months if / when her friend feels differently.

Also sorry to hear this it’s a bummer! What is meant to be will work out for you.

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Girl here; agree that it may be a cop-out or a legitimate issue with her friend. Either way, express your feelings and leave it to lily.

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Thanks everyone! Dwelled on it today and replied back saying it’s a shame but I understand and I enjoyed the time we spent together even if it was the wrong time. Kept the door open should anything change but won’t be waiting around for it !

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Good luck 🍀

I saw Lily on a night out, asked her for dinner and things went from there. Her housemate caught wind of us and really isn’t happy about it (despite her housemate calling things off with my housemate because she didn’t feel like they were a match). Got a text this morning saying she really enjoys hanging out with me, loves my company, but it’s too close to home for her housemate and doesn’t want to cause rifts, as they’re also bestfriends (my housemate is fine with me dating Lily for what it’s worth).

I can see the reasoning if her housemate effectively wants to cut all ties with our house so she can heal. Unsure on next steps - reply saying it’s a shame and I really enjoyed hanging out with her too and say I’ll see her around, or just leave it? Pretty disappointed - don’t want to sour it as it’s clearly poor timing for us to date, but at the same time, I certainly want to keep the door open for the future.

I also add that’s I’ve considered the possibility that it’s a good excuse and an easy way to let me down if she’s not as into it as I am, but that’d feel a bit weird as we were genuinely having a great time together whenever we were together. Outside perspective on this would be great

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