{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Started dating someone a month ago. First 2 dates and first 2 weeks he always texted first, suggested dates first etc. After date 2 I knew we really clicked so I started suggesting dates too, texting first too sometimes. Seems like he welcomes it and replies me in 3 seconds and always drops things to see me. We are exclusive but not yet official although I can see us getting there. I’m nervous. Should I pull back and let him chase? Are relationships more successful when men chase?", "post_id": "60fe3793b37a73002a5037de", "reply_count": 5, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Started dating someone a month ago. First 2 dates and first 2 weeks he always texted first, suggested dates first etc. After date 2 I knew we really clicked so I started suggesting dates too, texting first too sometimes. Seems like he welcomes it and replies me in 3 seconds and always drops things to see me. We are exclusive but not yet official although I can see us getting there. I’m nervous. Should I pull back and let him chase? Are relationships more successful when men chase?

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Don’t over think it. If he’s a good guy, he’s not doing the math or keeping tally. If you persue and he retreats, abandon ship. Persuer-distancer dynamics are one of the more toxic dysfunctional relationship styles.

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I read an article about this from Stephen Hussey. He had an interesting point. “…when the chase game is over the guy may lose interest. You don’t know if he’s attracted to you or more to chasing you and once chasing game is over he switches to chasing someone else. You can’t make him chase all your life, right? So the point was, it’s better to be authentic from the start and skip those chase games. Do what you feel like. Initiate dates yourself too. If he sticks then great, that’s your person. If he doesn’t you saved yourself time!”

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I would only pull back a little if you sense his excitement is dropping. Sounds like things are going great now - it’s not a time to start playing games, that could mess up a good thing.

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To be clear, I’m not chasing him now. We are matching each other’s energy. Feel more like what I’d behave like with someone who’s already been my bf for a while rather than him pursuing me..

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I’m in a similar situation, we have been dating for about a month and have been on 4/5ish dates so far. He brought up being exclusive after the second date. Things have been nice we generally will text each other and call every night. So I’ll tell you I have been 100% myself the entire time. If he doesn’t like it, he can opt out. I’m a bit nervous and don’t want to over do thing, so I have been letting him set the pace 80% of the time. If he wants to text, call, or see me he has my number. The other 20% is me but it’s mainly all him

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