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As someone who used to get so defensive and was just unaware of how to speak to people, my friend once took me out and asked me what was wrong and spoke to me from a friend perspective and not one that was demeaning. I personally think you should come from a work friend perspective and not her superior given that you’re both new. I also just did this with someone I was hired with last month and she noticed it and is seemingly doing better with how she addresses people.
Haha, I was literally hired a month ago and in our training, we had to do a “mock” pitch to a problem. My friend and I worked with a guy who was just kind of rude. Him and her had a lot of issues but she began to address everyone the way she addressed him. I took her to lunch and told her and now she sort of recovered her reputation that she almost ruined in training. We always would rather hear from a friend than a superior lol
Yikes. Take her to lunch.
It’s actually so much better to hear this from a colleague vs. a supervisor/manager. Coming from a manager, it sounds like “shape up, change your attitude, or take off.” Coming from a concerned friend/colleague, it sounds like “Is everything ok? I’ve noticed that you can sometimes be abrupt and snippy with people we work with...and others have asked me if you’re always like that. Since that’s not the person I know, I just wanted to let you know what people are saying, and I’m here if you need to vent.”
lately I have been observing some, odd (?) behaviour, if you can call it that. We started a month and a half ago, and she works from home now and then, and because of this she doesn't dial in to meetings that are important for her as an analyst to call into, to get BD work or get staffed.. and now she is snapping at the other eager analysts that show up every day and raise their hand to get exposure. She has half a year experience and worked in-house, and has no consulting experience, and as her senior, I am worried about putting her on clients, as I find the way she speaks internally and to me to be quite not "client facing". I really want to help her get the best possible start in consulting, but I don't know how to feed this back to her in a way she doesn't become defensive, as she also confuses my role as a work friend and her senior.
I am not her CDM, and I would like to try to see if I can help her hold her crown, without losing face in front of our new employer and the seniors.
????
I’m a new joiner at IBM, so I’m intrigued.