{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Struggling with my husband about his pot smoking. Long story short, he's always been a pot smoker (not during the business hours, but before and after work). Before we had the baby, Ive made it very clear that I dont want him smoking weed so frequently. I understand wanting to unwind before dinner/bed time, but I believe smoking several times a day is unhealthy. We have a 2 months old baby now, and during his paternity leave, he smoked several times a day and napped w. Baby. Continued-", "post_id": "61072d077bcc5200242a2f0c", "reply_count": 9, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms" }

Struggling with my husband about his pot smoking. Long story short, he's always been a pot smoker (not during the business hours, but before and after work). Before we had the baby, Ive made it very clear that I dont want him smoking weed so frequently. I understand wanting to unwind before dinner/bed time, but I believe smoking several times a day is unhealthy. We have a 2 months old baby now, and during his paternity leave, he smoked several times a day and napped w. Baby. Continued-

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After huge fight, he cut back his smoking to after the baby goes to bed. Today (he is the main "caretaker" on Sundays), I caught him smoking pot around noon while watching the baby. When I had the hunch, I asked him why he was acting bizarre and he said he was just distracted. And then I smelled weed on his breath. He is extremely sorry, but I don't really care at this point. I am so furious because I've asked him to cut back on smoking for 7 years now and I thought having a baby would encourage him to cut back. I know I m in a bad headspace, but I don't even want to be with him anymore. Thx for listening 😞

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Also I realize I only referred to individual therapy for him but individual therapy for you could be equally benefical

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This would be a personal deal breaker for me. Pot, like alcohol, is an influence and you can’t be under the influence while caring for a child . I would establish stricter boundaries because it’s not just his health at stake anymore.

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As a long time pot smoker myself, I am not overall worried about his being able to care for the baby while high, however, it is absolutely reasonable to have firmer boundaries around this now because it will only get more important as baby grows up and is able to observe the behavior. I stopped smoking entirely for other reasons and now my husband only smokes after bedtime because our son is 3, fully verbal, and has asked the question “what are you doing daddy?”. That scared my hubs straight. Can you guys sit down and talk about why he did it and why he felt he needed to lie to you? If you both need a mental break on the weekend, maybe get a sitter for a half day.

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I left my ex husband for this. I was over it. I asked him to reduce back for our kids but he didn’t care.

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I would 💯 bail. If he was gonna change, he woulda.

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Smoking pot bothers me. I hate the smell and I hate that a lot of people who do don’t treat it like a drug (I’m taking on the level as alcohol or another legal drug wrt to daily activities, driving, etc). I think your husband has shown you who he is. He needs weed multiple times a day to make it through the day. I personally wouldn’t want to be with someone who needed a substance like that to survive the day. (I’d 100% be okay with someone who recognized this as a problem and was in therapy or whatever working on it and actually trying to make a change). He hasn’t changed in 8 years he’s not gonna change now. Either you can live with it or you can’t. I’m sorry OP, this so tough and I’m mad for you right now.

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