Stuck in one of my bad cycles the past few weeks, have been getting progressively worse. I just completely shut out everyone in my life and become isolated in my own mind, which is a scary place for me to be, truly terrifying what my mind comes up with.

What makes me more depressed is not understanding why I am like this. What on earth do I have to be depressed about? I’m extremely successful, house, beautiful wife, all going well for me. I know this a rhetorical question but it just eats me.

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My mother has battled undiagnosed depression almost my whole life, and I see myself in her. I feel immense pressure to live up to my fathers legacy as one of leading people in his field globally and extremely successful. I just feel fear that I won’t (even though I’m ahead of where he was at my age) and it just cripples m with anxiety and I lock up completely. My ability to get through work days is diminished, I’ve stopped talking to my friend groups completely, I’m glassed over all day, I’m there but I’m not mentally, just an awful place to be, don’t wish it upon anyone.

Therapy.

I love this bowl

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