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We got this: HaloVa Diaper Bag Multi-Functional Portable Travel Backpack Nappy Bags for Baby Care, Water-resistant, Large Capacity, Stylish and Durable, Leather Tag Black Gray https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07F1P61CR/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_fBx3Db769Q6PJ (If you're into brands, I have no idea what the original one of this is. Apparently there are a lot of knock offs on this style, and this might be one of them. I didn't care enough to research this)
If you’re in a city / going to be using a stroller a lot you won’t really need one. Stash all the gear in the stroller. I used a plain zipper pouch to organize the diapers specifically and keep them clean.
I just found a Kipling at TJ Maxx that I LOVE. We’ve taken it on several flights and it’s got plenty of room, is lightweight and looks like a normal small duffle so my husband is happy to carry it.
We really liked a paperclip bag when my daughter was small because of the built in changing pad. We’ve now switched to a Herschel diaper bag. Both have been great, neutral backpacks.
We just got a backpack and a messenger bag that we liked at the time - put in a diaper pad (or get disposable ones) and some eagle creek travel bags to keep change of clothes and diapers/ wipes in - anything branded a ‘diaper bag’ just runs up the price tag
We used the stroller and a tote bag when we needed a bit more.
We use a backpack. I love my changing pad because it stores all the stuff you need and makes it easy to switch between bags or a large tote purse. It’s called a Patemm and was made by a mom! https://www.patemm.com
Get a backpack! We use this one, like the integrated changing mat https://www.petunia.com/diaper-bags/boxy-backpack/boxy-backpack-in-birch-black
Second the backpack idea, you need to be hands free in all sorts of situations: public restrooms, losing a car. Love this option, very gender neutral:
Thank you everyone!!