{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Talk to me about the agony of being a full time out of the home working mom of a young, pre school aged baby/toddler. Is it different for dads/non child bearing partners? Who struggling with this?", "post_id": "5d5c7fd512878e0020fd2f51", "reply_count": 17, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "5565cfca8b2b9a03009acf57", "bowl_name": "Advertising" }

Talk to me about the agony of being a full time out of the home working mom of a young, pre school aged baby/toddler. Is it different for dads/non child bearing partners? Who struggling with this?

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Definitely struggling. Especially b/c I’m freelance and don’t get benefits, pto, or the rapport of coworkers who know me or give half a shit. I’m a commodity everywhere I go. 😭 I’ve got a 1 year old at home and am on the verge of a major burnout/depression spiral. Hopefully it gets better soon? I’ve been wanting to go FT to make one bit of my life more consistent. If anyone needs an Experiential Design specialist, hit me up and save my soul!

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I’m sorry you’re struggling! I’m freelance and going to start trying soon. This is helpful perspective since I’ve been debating about converting over to FT...I have a lot of free time in chunks as a freelancer but not sure how that even works with childcare. Do you have a nanny?

I consider myself an involved dad, but it’s not even close when it comes to who handles the lion’s share of my toddler’s day-to-day needs. Huge props to the working moms out there for the crazy amount of juggling you pull off- young kids can be exhausting.

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I’m a dad. I’ve worked my ass off ok getting better at the emotional labor stuff and haven’t gotten there yet. To be fair my wife doesn’t work and has a lot more free time than I do.

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My son is two. I’m a dad. I’m not sure what’s different at this age. I think the differences are maybe a little bit stronger in birth recovery and / or if you’re breast feeding. A lot also depends on the relationship and who does what. What are your concerns?

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also everybody struggles with this. It’s impossible. Don’t beat yourself up.

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I had a hard time when my two kids were both under 3. Now they’re 3-6 years old and I am able to focus more on work and travel guilt free (I enjoy being away). But you need to do what’s right for you. And I agree that if you can’t change your situation you need to figure out how to have a positive perspective on it. Hang in there!

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full time working mom of a 8 and 11 year old. I still have struggles with this and just when I think it's easier we have big transitions like starting middle school last week and getting my girls to ballet every day at different start times etc. When my SHM friends complain about how busy and stressful their days are I can't help but flinch a little.

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It does get a little easier as they get into school. But yeah, the first few years are tough. Lean into your support system and don't feel bad about needing to take care of yourself. The mommy-tracking is real, but it gets better when the kids are older or is you have a really supportive coparent.

The agony, for me anyway, is feeling like you’re missing a majority of their little developmental leaps and cool experiences and they get to know the world (my babe is 1 too). But also knowing that I both want to, and need to work (financially speaking). I wish our workforce did a better job as supporting young families. Deep down, and I never knew I’d feel like way, it just feels wrong that my nanny spends more time with my baby than I do. It feel cruel and my heart is broken.

What’s there to reframe? I’m missing precious moments with my baby but I have to work and my employer is not flexible. My options are to continue missing my babe or find a new employer. But I hear ya, we do the same, kid stuff all weekend. It’s the best we have right now and I’m thankful for it. I’m thankful for a lot of things, but it doesn’t make this moment right now any easier....

FT working mom of a two year old here. I lucked out and my work gave me one work from home day. I had the nanny come in the mornings that day to watch her while I worked and would put her down for her nap and then when she woke up I was on mommy duty. I felt like it was a great chance to have some alone time with her, but also was just hard enough to really appreciate my nanny and the ability to “have a break” at work. It’s exhausting. And weekends are spent at the zoo, children’s museum, beach, etc with the family as well.

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