{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Talking to a guy I met a while ago. Only have hung out once before to hook up. A year later he makes a reappearance. I’m taking it slow bc covid and bc I don’t want a one timer w him again. We did a couple FaceTime calls then went for a walk. He texted tonight asking to come over for wine. I jokingly asked if he was sure bc I didn’t see him for a year last time we did that. Dodged it this time, but how do you ladies hold off on sex? Not looking to have a sit down talk tho", "post_id": "5fd59a9e6c3647002888adb4", "reply_count": 18, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Talking to a guy I met a while ago. Only have hung out once before to hook up. A year later he makes a reappearance. I’m taking it slow bc covid and bc I don’t want a one timer w him again. We did a couple FaceTime calls then went for a walk. He texted tonight asking to come over for wine. I jokingly asked if he was sure bc I didn’t see him for a year last time we did that. Dodged it this time, but how do you ladies hold off on sex? Not looking to have a sit down talk tho

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Have you asked him what he's looking for? Guy disappears for a year and comes back during Covid might just be wanting sex, but willing to put in a little bit of effort for it. Or if you don't want to ask him, tell him. I'm not looking to just have sex, you cool with that. No point in overthinking every interaction not knowing if he wants sex or a relationship or wasting your time hoping to change his mind.

likesmarthelpful

Perfect stated

Yea having just been through something like this: hey I just want to be transparent with you about what I’m looking for here - I’m not super interested in a hookup or a one-time thing like last time...I like you and would like to give this a chance/see where things go. No pressure if that’s not where you are but wanted to be sure you knew

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You guys are right it shouldn’t be a big deal to say I don’t want casual sex right now. It’ll be a big deal how he responds. Sent this text this morning

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Good for you! Good response! Clear message and putting your foot down! You go queen

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You need to decide what you want from him. If COVID is making you thirsty for some D and if he was any good last time, go get that D. If you’re looking for something more, tell him that in a couple sentences. No need for a sit down talk. See where that goes.

likesmart

Here’s the deal...If he didn’t have the decency or interest to keep in contact after you hooked up, it’s very likely going nowhere this time. I would put him on a slow fade plan; and stop with the long walks in the park. You’re the same amazing person you were back then, so ask yourself what’s changed: COVID, he has fewer options, he’s testing the water. When you break down like that it’s easier to resist. That’s been my personal experience.

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Please update us haha

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Update he responded in a sarcastic but silly way “well your personality is pretty decent so I’m up for it”. And has been texting everyday. He’s doing good so far lol.

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The convo is obv not that serious since it happened in a matter of a couple texts. You cant make someone say the words you want to hear. I’m ok with what he said and will still be making sure his actions add up.

You’re not looking to talk, but don’t want sex? Maybe suggest movies?

Good for you knowing what you want. Now tell him. And while you're at it ask him what he wants.

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