{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Team member on project, \"You're not like most black people out there...\" \"How many black people do you know?\" I said. \"....not that many personally if I'm to be honest.\" Me: \"Oh..👀\" *subject change*", "post_id": "58fe1e0954f766001644083e", "reply_count": 42, "vote_count": 15, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting" }

Team member on project, "You're not like most black people out there..." "How many black people do you know?" I said. "....not that many personally if I'm to be honest." Me: "Oh..👀" *subject change*

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I had my share of these circumstances even perhaps more than you know. @McK1 I know there's problem. But I don't want to run around everywhere with a lense trying to find out who has done wrong to me with respect to race. I am not fighting it by demonstrations and group activities. I am doing it through my knowledge and skill set that I bring to the table. I have been wronged many times and taken advantage many times. That doesn't mean I will make every situation debate scenario. Just chill out.

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K3 depends on who's asking, tbqh. If it's a member of the same group they're asking about, chances are it's about connecting. Sometimes it matters because all of those groups have cultures that may not be obvious to you. I'm not really here for any kumbayah that is predicated on pretending the differences aren't there or relevant. The idea is to be treated with respect no matter the differences, not to literally act like there are none. You're right, it's out of your depth, and pretty irrelevant to OP's situation, but you felt like saying maybe your only opinion on diversity. Reflect on why. No shade, but this is what those teaching moments look like. Whenever I'm about to speak on something I don't know much about, I ask myself "does this need to be said?" , "Does this need to be said by me?", And "does this need to be said by me *right now*?"

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@A1 lol no one's getting fired for that. Just another day #consultingwhileblack

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Hmmm so when's he/she getting fired? What a ridiculous thing for this person to say no matter the context

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@P1 yeah, I hear you, but that's amazingly tiring. It's not my job to educate people - I do from time to time but I don't owe anyone that (not saying you say I am). People can literally learn ANYTHING via Google. Read something - educate yourself. Then, as you would with an Excel function or any other subject - reach out to someone you trust to help you fill in the gaps lol.

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K1 - comments like that are part of the problem. Someone spoke up about something that bothers her and you attempted to shut her up by telling her to stop being uptight and ruining your​ good time. Surely you don't think that's okay.

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K1, unless you are also a black woman, can you *not* tell black folks "not to be so uptight" when we're giving advice to other people who experience the same thing. We can oscillate seamlessly between light hearted and serious without any external refs...

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Glad you too it lightly. We had one white guy in our project. Manager called him token once😂.

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Use it as a teaching moment! As a white girl from a rural farm town, I rarely had exposure to other ethnicities. Of course all I knew for a long time were stereotypes and was curious about the culture of others. Most of the time I had no idea when asking I questions or saying things I was being offensive. I know better now that I have friends and coworkers from all ethnicities. Try to see other people's side and correct them.

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P1 teaching moments for black folks usually don't end up well socially. Playing it off and swallowing the BS is literally the best option. If you teach, then you're too Sensitive. I like when white folks check their own, that is an actual helpful thing that /you/ can do!

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D1 You just ask them to repeat slower... Honestly not surprised but impressed by how you made this post about you, lmao

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Fellow sister here- I just flat out tell team members when they say things that are inappropriate and make me uncomfortable. If they care to ask why I let them know and encourage them to consider a different course of action in the future. Dialogue on these matters is healthy. I'm too old and too well qualified to be uncomfortable on the job because of someone else's stupidity. It's also 2017...I'm not obligated to allow myself to be disrespected. Speak up, lean in. If people really care they'll do better in the future. If they don't- then you know who to avoid.

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Yeah @A2 is right I did teach them something. "Educating" folk on such matters is a serious risk and is emotionally draining. I'm essentially justifying my humanity. That's deeply exhausting over time.

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Shout out to my sisters on the thread. Black guy here for the record. @K1 Pause and consider that the "minority" group is NOT monolithic. You are not white - okay. You've experienced racism - yes, okay. All the same if you aren't black, please don't assume or prescribe how we should emotionally handle the reality of our lives. Anti-blackness is extremely complex and nuanced. Read up on the subject.

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LOL. @K1 I can't get mad at every micro aggression and function as a human being. It's bullshit though, we know this.

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Btw I am Indian :)

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@E1 But are you the token white guy at EY? 👀 or in your practice? You're still the majority, you'll be fine 👍🏾.

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Haha agreed. My practice has a solid blend of females and Indians, lots of leadership is white though but strong mix of female leaders too. Unfortunately, I would have to say the African American mix in my practice is quite low though.

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Yep. Not surprising. Common throughout the industry.

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OP you handled that a lot better than I would.

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Lol. He should get fired. Bring all your buddies and invite him for dinner.

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